To Philip: "Under my stewardship Gossip Girl's just a shell of her former self!"
Philip: "Tell me more, while I raise another man's baby. I am apparently cool with whatever."
Georgina: "I must create utter scandal! Or do nothing as usual!"
Philip: "Why not just release the news that Dan leaked you the wedding video?"
Georgina: "If I'm going to load up Dan like a hirsute hand grenade, I need everybody to be there when he detonates. Ack! It was so much easier to stir stuff up when we were all in high school and in the same place all the time!"
Philip: "Oh, you mean like never happened? Or are you referring to before this show even started?"
Georgina: "You're right. I shall have to create a time machine."
Assistant: "Nate, that's such a good idea you had for that party here in the office where everybody dresses up in high school uniforms! But I wish that you had told me about it so that I could get everything ready. You naughty boy!"
Nate: "I am naughty. I don't even remember having that idea!"
Assistant: "Yeah, and you were saying it would be a good idea to have it catered by cater-waiters? Named Lola?"
Nate: "That was the best part of my plan."
Gossip Girl: "So if you were wondering if Nate were still smoking pot to the point of chronic retardation, the answer is yes."
Ivy: "Uncle Rufus, hey! I was just in Europe, not answering my phone. Anyway, I need to talk to your wife about some secret things and then go back to Europe."
Rufus: "Could you please tell me also?"
Ivy: "No. You can't be trusted, and your sad trophy-wife need for affection and approval makes you a liability, so..."
Rufus: "That's true, and you're probably right. Anyway, just hang out here unattended until Lily comes back from DC, and you can have whatever secret conversations you want."
Ivy: "Sounds good!"
Rufus: "Because I have really important stuff to do today, too. Like, really important. And very secret."
Ivy: "...I said, sounds good."
Rufus: "No, I can't possibly tell you! Don't twist my arm!"
Ivy: "You are enough to make a person pretend they're off their meds again."