Dan: "Do you really want us to get back together?"
Blair: "I just want to you to be happy! Tell me what would make you happy, Dan."
Her voice cracks at the end, eyes searching his face wildly, all her old tics coming out again now that she's back to her old self, and he kisses the hell out of her, just like she wanted.
Behind them, the door cracks open again, but they don't notice. Georgina gets her shot and giggles, running off. Serena just shakes her head when Dan chases her, and Blair starts crying. It's pretty apocalyptic.
Alessandra flirts drunkenly with Chuck downstairs, taking a break from her Gal's Night Out to troll for some creepy Charlie Trout sex. Wait, so is this a St. Vincent performance that they're all hanging out at? I'm so confused. I thought it was the Cardiac Ball, but then why is Creeper chilling down in the Empire Bar? Oh well, anyway she's about ready to go.
Serena: "So is this about dicking with me, or is it payback, or taking things of mine away, or...?"
Blair: "Actually none of the above, this time. I actually don't have an explanation for my behavior. I'm as confused as you are."
Serena: "For a year supposedly about breaking my old patterns, I sure have fucked that up completely."
CHARLOTTE LIGHT & DARK
While Creeper finally just escorts Blair from the suite by hand, Ivy and Lola chill out and take their leisurely time catching up, almost as though daring the Fates to send any of the ten castmembers on this show that would be able to correctly identify the ruse in play and send the situation spiraling out of control. Of course, what the Fates send is the one person on the show who wouldn't put the pieces together, Nate Archibald, so they're fine. Ivy bounces, and Nate presses once again on the bruise of Lola's disinterest in his lifestyle -- it's still not cute, please treat women like people -- and then somehow Nate manages to put the whole thing together for Lola without ever actually understanding it himself.
Lola: "Why was Ivy Dickens here?"
Nate: "That's just a fake name! Her real name is Charlie Rhodes, she's my friend's cousin."
Lola: "I guess in addition to not having the internet or newspapers where I come from, I also didn't know that I have a cousin, or else I would put a stop to this right now. I make less and less sense as time goes on. Now if you'll excuse me, I have to act all sketchy some more. These cocktail trays and crudite I should be passing aren't going to ignore themselves."