Assistant: "Nate, that's such a good idea you had for that party here in the office where everybody dresses up in high school uniforms! But I wish that you had told me about it so that I could get everything ready. You naughty boy!"
Nate: "I am naughty. I don't even remember having that idea!"
Assistant: "Yeah, and you were saying it would be a good idea to have it catered by cater-waiters? Named Lola?"
Nate: "That was the best part of my plan."
Gossip Girl: "So if you were wondering if Nate were still smoking pot to the point of chronic retardation, the answer is yes."
Ivy: "Uncle Rufus, hey! I was just in Europe, not answering my phone. Anyway, I need to talk to your wife about some secret things and then go back to Europe."
Rufus: "Could you please tell me also?"
Ivy: "No. You can't be trusted, and your sad trophy-wife need for affection and approval makes you a liability, so..."
Rufus: "That's true, and you're probably right. Anyway, just hang out here unattended until Lily comes back from DC, and you can have whatever secret conversations you want."
Ivy: "Sounds good!"
Rufus: "Because I have really important stuff to do today, too. Like, really important. And very secret."
Ivy: "...I said, sounds good."
Rufus: "No, I can't possibly tell you! Don't twist my arm!"
Ivy: "You are enough to make a person pretend they're off their meds again."
Rufus: "Apropos of nothing, let me tell you all about Blair Waldorf's prenuptial agreement and how it keeps her from being with any of the many people on this show that she's in love with."
Ivy: "See, like that's an example of how you can't be trusted to not just say whatever pops into your pretty little head."
Rufus: "Speaking of prenups, if I don't get things ready for Lily's perfect Valentine's Day, I... Well, let's just say I should get moving."
Ivy: "Wow, was that an actual funny joke on this show? Things really have changed since the last season and a half."
RESTAURANT OF LIES
Serena and Dan -- at this lovely restaurant to meet the Old Virgin and Agent Alessandra respectively -- have been stood up. Can Blair and Dorota, under concealment of disguises that do not disguise them in any way, be far behind?