Gossip Girl
Crazy, Cupid, Love

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: A+ | Grade It Now!
We Want Prenup


Lola notices Ivy, and runs over to have a little chat with her. As the only waiter at this event, it is of course her prerogative to sit down on a chaise longue and catch up with the girl who's been impersonating her lo these many months, and still nobody asks the salient questions about this scenario.

Like: "How is it possible that Nate is pulling the strings of this girl's actual livelihood, and yet still her name hasn't rung any bells for him? Are we meant to honestly believe that he hasn't even figured out her last name yet?"
Or: "Has this bitch seriously never heard of Gossip Girl? Or the newspaper? She never once wondered why she was constantly in the news?"
Or: "Why does everybody suddenly know Lola on every part of this show just from literally bumping into her in different locations?"
Or: "The fact that Ivy didn't immediately fucking bolt the second Lola started yelling her name, what is that about? Why is Ivy here at all? Why is any of this happening?"


Blair really overextends this time, telling Serena all these lies about how Dan was saying the spark was back and that it was worth pursuing. I mean, she was doing all the talking and it'd be very in-character if she just imagined the entire conversation going the way she wanted it to, but because this is like the third (and not the last) time poor stupid Serena's gotten her hopes up today, it comes across as unnecessarily cruel.

I mean, if Blair can't even admit that Dan is a possibility, then this whole situation assumes a different, and the correct, shape: It's telling the story it's telling us it's telling, which is that Dan/Louis was a shell game all along to keep Dan from getting between B and S, but it's reaching so far back into antiquity to even remember how Blair used to work, in a way where this makes sense: That girl who would force these situations into existence by sheer force of indomitable will, that girl who would do anything to save Serena, that girl whose loyalty was so twined up with her jealousy she couldn't ever be completely sure of her own motives... It seems like a lot to ask, to suddenly have that girl back. And that's to say nothing of the fear that she'll just vanish again.


So while S is running off, all cheered up for the eightieth time that Dan's not going to pull the same shit as always, and Blair realizes that she still has Dan's necktie in her hand from when she was mussing up his hair and getting him all St. Juded up, Dan traces the sound of Gossip Girl's blasts to Chuck's room, where he finds Georgina (wearing the St. Jude's uniform we never once saw her wearing) and immediately realizes that A, she's Gossip Girl -- or her henchwoman -- somehow, and B, she no longer has any leverage over him, as far as selling Blair out to the Prince.

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Gossip Girl




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