W Fashion closet! Exciting! B babbles and burbles and wiggles and tickles, with her editorial boss Epperly, whom I very much appreciate. I'm happy about the existence of Epperly. "I saw that movie too? But this is real life, not some Hollywood chick flick where a girl with a scrunchie gets a makeover and triumphs in the end." (B is like, Real life isn't movies? Pull the other one, Skinny.) She proudly chirps, "I have never owned a scrunchie!" and Eps goes, "I think I read that on your résumé."
Touring, touring, dropping the name of EIC Stefano Tonchi, for whom Blair has of course created an insane PowerPoint presentation, and Epperly is like, "Look, I've been Stefano's assistant since he took over and I've barely had five minutes alone with him. Keep it in your pants. We talk mad mess about the open door policy, but he's still crazy busy. This isn't some kind of bullshitty Joe Zee situation where he's going to sit down and slurp iced lattes with you."
That's when Epperly introduces B to her fellow interns. Of course, Blair assumed that she would be the only person on staff, because she's quote Blair Waldorf, and Epperly just laughs and is intimidatingly put together some more: "They're all Blair Waldorfs: Princeton, Yale, Penn, and Parsons." And then the sixth intern arrives: Mr. Dan Humphrey, of the Brooklyn Humphreys, who goes to NYU and whose existence Blair has always found troubling. The fires of war rise within her, and Dan couldn't be happier. The Human Scrunchy.
Cinema scion Jonathan, whose relationship with Eric van der Woodsen ended in a Pinkberry avalanche and priceless mobster-movie paraphernalia, shows up at PRADA MARFA with some shit Eric left at school at some point. Lily's happy to see Jonathan, and they talk about how their painful breakup was a bloodbath but now Eric's sleeping over at his bisexual boyfriend's house all the time. (Not normal. Don't let your teenagers sleep over with each other, if they are dating. That's a great way to get pregnant.)