Gossip Girl

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: D | Grade It Now!
Boobs Are Not A Professional Skill

You know what I could do with never hearing again? All the ways these ladies would like to be less special, so they could more easily fit into Dan's stupid fucking expectations of them. He just hates when girls exhibit the very qualities that attracted him in the first place.

Jenny leans against Chuck's car, obviously not interested in having this meeting with him: "Congratulations. Your girlfriend's installed a puppet regime." Chuck agrees that Blair's "gone Colonel Kurtz," and asks Jenny to help him bring her back to earth. In return, he offers to help her take back the crown. Jenny wonders if it's even worth it: "They don't want my kind of leadership, they want a tyrant who will police their behavior and chart their movement on the social ladder. Find someone else." I really like Momsen's acting here, as usual: No matter how much Chuck has changed, she still has to -- and should -- treat her dealings with him as Faustian negotiations.

"I/They need you," he says. Either one of the mumbles is true. "You're fooling yourself if you don't think you were born to rule this school." Jenny reminds him that people change, but he says she's the exception: "The Jenny Humphrey who used to sit in Brooklyn and watch the lights across the water? Who went toe-to-toe with Blair Waldorf and actually won her respect? You can't tell me that girl isn't still in there." She rolls her eyes, but she knows he's right. "Now that the dream is coming true, you owe it to her to live it." (Which, given the acting on Chuck's side, is a nice nod to the fact that he's really changed in the last two seasons, and doesn't really understand that Jenny is never going to trust him. It just honestly doesn't occur to him: Everything he does now is in service of and redemption for the other lost boy, the one that jumped off that roof after all.) She complains that B doesn't want her to be Queen, and Chuck blows that right off. Of course.

Serena walks into another shitstorm of Ursula, wherein she's running around acting crazy and Serena has to take care of it. Ursula comes out with that exact same wig half in curlers, because we're pretending it's hair, and yelling about X thing, and Serena calmly takes care of it, and it's dumb. KC sends her off to get finished dressing, and bites her thumb showily, so Serena asks what's up. What's up is that the big scene Ursula was telling us about this morning got cut from the movie, but S thinks they should tell her that because of integrity, but KC thinks not because Ursula sucks and will totally flake on the premiere, so Serena looks dim and worried, and then has to go help Ursula with her hair, because sometimes movie stars just wing that shit for the red carpet.

Previous 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22Next

Gossip Girl




Get the most of your experience.
Share the Snark!

See content relevant to you based on what your friends are reading and watching.

Share your activity with your friends to Facebook's News Feed, Timeline and Ticker.

Stay in Control: Delete any item from your activity that you choose not to share.

The Latest Activity On TwOP