Dan shows up at the Palace in a suit, of sorts, and it's a very nice brown suit and tie, but the shirt...oh, Dan. Imagine if you will that tigers came in paisley. Meanwhile Serena's wearing her usual: intrepid outdoorsman from the waist down, olde-timey princess from the waist up, and a scarf that is one inch wide and two kilometers long. Dan assumes that she's not dressed for their date, because in Dan's mind, a date is something that you apparently dress like a Miami stage magician to accomplish. She pretends she's running late and goes to "slip into something less comfortable." They replay their "conversation through the wide-open door" maneuver from last week so that Dan can ogle her changing bras. He makes with the crazy random Dan talk, and as usual, her ability to keep up with his crazy random Dan talk is why they are friends. He's like, "All hotel rooms look the same," and she's all, "Yeah, it's like a government experiment," and he goes, "Most government experiments don't have plasma TVs or maid services," blah blah cute cute. She takes off her bra and the music screeches to a halt because Lily's home. Finally.
"Dan. Does Serena know you're here?" He stares and feels like an adorably dirty old perv, which is what he is, and he's like, "She let me in, or some other tall blonde girl let me in, or whatever," and Lily is more amused and less hateful every time she runs into old Dan: "It makes jokes." Cute. He watches her put down her fifty shopping bags and she explains that, like her daughter, she shops when she's got stuff on her mind. "So where are you taking my daughter tonight?" Dan...well, here's Dan's response: "I don't know. I thought maybe we'd do a walking tour of New York underground, visit my friends the mole people. They're great, except they only ever eat leftovers." She smiles, daring him to get quirkier so she can call security. "I'm sorry. I don't know why I just said any of that. I have this thing, this nervous tic, where I never stop speaking, like, ever. In fact, when I was a little boy, my mom used to say there was never a word I met that I didn't like." Lily's just about done with him, and somehow he pulls it together beautifully: "You know what else I like? Your daughter. I really like your daughter." Lily considers whether to cut him a break or just, you know, cut him, but before he can get even more charming, Serena appears in a lovely black dress and his jaw drops. Lily gives Serena a small black purse instead of the giant brown purse Serena's carrying, and while changing cargo S asks where Eric is. "Oh, he was too tired to come home tonight," vagues Lily, and pulls an impressive array of tics and sidelong glances out of her repertoire to get S to shut up about Eric in front of Lonelyboy. Even though Eric is just another in a long list of Lily's secrets to which Dan is privy. S and Dan bounce; Lily tells her to be home by one: "Bonus points for 12:45."