Blair plays with the doorman's hat while one of the blondes is like, "Wasn't easy getting his whole uniform, but: done, and done." Jenny wonders what the doorman is now wearing, and B tells her not to worry about it, just keep drinking. Eric texts J with an adorable phone camera picture of him screaming: "SOS still in prison!" Blair, of course, answers and sees the message before Jenny. "Is that Eric van der Woodsen? I thought he went home for the weekend." Without taking her eyes off Jenny, she hands the phone back and tells Isabel to lead the group to Visconti for a meet-up in an hour. "Let's ramp this up, shall we? Truth or dare? And you already used your truth." Alone, Jenny's still a dipshit: "So...dare?" She dares Jenny to jailbreak Eric, and Jenny's like, "Blair." They are at an impasse. Gossip Girl is like, "Spotlight on Little J, now put to the test by one Queen B. Will J take the bait and turn from Brady to Britney, or will her goody-two-shoes mindset turn into the night's biggest buzzkill?" Fingers, toes, all things crossed. Jenny smiles her little smile and agrees. So excellent.
Eric's sitting glumly on the bed at the Ostroff Center when Jenny surprises him. "Your SOS was heard and answered. Come on, we're breaking you out." Eric has the presence of mind to wonder about the "we," because God knows Dan would never do anything this amazing: B, leaning and swaying at the intake station with lipstick smeared all over her face, hair wild and crazy, looking totally awesome and deranged. "Okay, I have a problem. I have a big problem. It starts with a capital Rx." The nurse, who is I believe a little amused by all this, asks which drugs. "Mmmmm. Caffeine, nicotine...ketamine...GHB, PCP, LSD, didridiazepam, lorazepam...all the -pams, really. You know, I don't discriminate." Nursie allows as how apparently she doesn't. She calls in a code yellow on B and goes to find a doctor, and B calls after her, "And I'd love a cappuccino!"
Blair grabs her purse and sneaks all Spy vs. Spy back through the door to grab the kids. Eric, of course, gets scared the second he sees Blair, loony makeup or not, because she's scary no matter what. She gestures vaguely at the horror of her insane getup, like, "I know, I look crazy." Then she smiles at him and levels: "I heard you were bored, and figured I owed you one." He grins hugely and says it's more like fifty she owes him, and she's like, "Right, whatever, let's go."
Zoom in on one of many purses that seem to be special guest stars this week, where Lily's sitting around the Palace room in her nighttime best. It's the Ostroff, calling to say about how Eric just flew over the cuckoo's nest. "He was with who? Young, blonde and beautiful? Yep, that's his sister." Not technically true, but given the chemistry between them, not to mention their eerily identical selves, not entirely untrue either. She sighs and calls Serena, but her phone's still in the original brown bag. "Ugh, of course," Lily grunts. I want to know what Lily does all the time, once the shops close down. I'm guessing after a bottle of Chardonnay she gets pretty awesomely weird. Like, I want to pan into the Palace suite some time and have her hair all ratted with a glass of wine in her hand and the other one pumping in the air all, "You said that I was naïve! And I thought that I was strong! I thought, 'Hey, I can leave! I can leave!' But now I know that I was wrong!" and then just hit the floor, completely naked with like ten strands of pearls and cat glasses. Because obviously that was their breakup song. Maybe when we flash back to Eric's suicide attempt it will be something like that. I certainly hope so.