Back at the Team Blair table, she awesomely produces his phone, and dares Jenny to call Amanda and fuck everybody up for fun. "Done and done. Hello? Amanda? Hi. This is Bl-- Claire. Yeah, I just had my tongue down your boyfriend's throat, and he neglected to tell me you existed until after it was over. Just thought you should know. He's a real catch." Blair loves Jenny so much it's amazing; everybody toasts her. "Sleepover of the year!" Blair giggles and has fun and everybody's enjoying themselves, so of course Gossip Girl has to tell us what we just saw, about how Jenny's Mean Girl career just started right in front of us.
More billiards and bavardage at the Dirty Sailor with S and Lonelyboy, all this Sethy nonsense about how "there aren't enough words to describe the kind of bad" Serena is, et cetera. She finally plays the "teach me to play pool" card, and he's totally game. You can imagine the visuals, so here's Dan's dialogue: "All right, come here. Now you have to remember, in pool, it's all about -- take this stick -- remember, it's all about the angles.... Bring your hand back here... Be slow and just follow through..." And just as things are getting hot, the song Serena played on the jukebox starts playing. They talk about how Dan didn't know she liked this kind of music, which I don't recognize so I can't say, except I like that Serena and Dan like some of the same music. They get kissy, but then Dan's phone rings before they connect: "There's something vibrating in your pocket, and I really hope it's your phone." Droll. Dan notes that Rufus wouldn't call unless it was important, because everybody has to work around Dan's Serena obsession all the time, and hangs up promising to solve the problem. Serena is adorable: "No! No no no change of plans! I like this plan of you teaching me the angles! Remember? Cute girl with total lack of pool skills? ...What could it possibly be that's more important than this right here? Can't it wait till tomorrow?" Um, no, because crazy Eric has flown the coop.
Lily comes busting into Rufus's house and without stopping is like, "So I made some calls, but as it turns out, none of my people know your people. Shocking, but true. Either Dan Humphrey is an alias, or your son is not very popular. Regardless, I need that number." Rufus grins because Lily is awesome, but quickly apologizes because Lily is scary. "I called Dan." She calms down and thanks him, but Rufus admits that Eric's not with Serena. Lily wigs a little, but he says that Serena was able to get Eric on the phone, and they're going to get together with him and all. "Yeah, and you didn't think to call and tell me all of this?" Rufus is amused by her freaking out, and tells her he was about to, then offers to let her wait at his house. Which was the whole point from moment one, for both of them. She sits. "Fine. And I'll pass on a glass of that non-premium liquor that you're drinking, but I will take something to eat. Thank you for offering." He is, of course, flabbergasted, but she tells him to get in that kitchen and start cookin' for Mama, so of course he does.