Serena runs up and kisses Dan, and he asks how she's feeling. Not picking up Chuck's worried twitch signals until it's too late, she says her migraine's gone. Dan's confused, because a migraine is not food poisoning, and she says she had both. Dan asks for a full rundown, and Chuck tries to interrupt, but Dan is steely, holding out a palm toward Chuck without looking away from her face. "I'm asking you." She stammers that she got food poisoning, and Chuck helped her. "Okay, where exactly did you eat that you got this killer food poisoning/migraine?" She tells him to drop the interrogation, he realizes he's pulling a Humphrey, and goes right to the puppy-dogs: "As soon as you tell me where my girlfriend is!" She swears she's there with him, in the light, she wants to believe it, but already the smell of Georgina is getting on him. The bell rings and he stares at her, angry and justified for once. "I can't... I can't do this."
Chuck approaches again, having finished his call, and Serena's sick. "This is exactly why I didn't want her to come back. She's been back a day already and look what's happening." Chuck asks why, if it's that bad, she can't just tell Dan about G. But say what you will about Chuck and his penchant for theatre, he's at least authentically Chuck. He honestly doesn't get that there are secrets and faces that people put on. He's Chuck Bass. He doesn't know dick about New Serena or Old Serena or what it means to date a boy like Dan. I honestly don't think he would understand the words coming out of your face if you tried to explain it. Which is how, once again, he can be Chuck and still kind of be the hero here. Because it's not that he doesn't see the depths and depravities of the G situation, he sees them just fine: he just doesn't know why it's a big deal. S sighs and tells him they'll talk later, but there's no way to tell Dan about Old Serena and Georgina without losing him, and Chuck stares after her.
Military drums attend the Bitches' first attempt to acquire and destroy Nelly Yuki. "Look, I'm not stupid. I know you're not really interested in how my family owns half of TriBeCa." Hazel scoffs: "Of course we're interested! You're the newest member of our little club!" Which, Penelope explains, is only for the very smartest junior girls. "Our junior class only has thirty girls. We're already an elite club. Can I go now?" Blair nails Hazel to the wall from down the hall with a single look, and she sputters and tries again: "You what would be hot? You, us at G Spa." Nelly Yuki does not drink. "Saks Fifth?" asks Penelope, but Nelly Yuki does not shop. "Yogurt on the steps?" Nelly Yuki is lactose intolerant. "Look, I really don't want any friends." Blair gets worried, because without a desperate need for popularity, her magic won't work. "All I want is to be alone. And to never listen to Flo Rida, ever again." B sniffs something in that, and nods to Penelope.