Gossip Girl

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: A+ | Grade It Now!
Sparks Fly!

"What happened? A little backstage hit it and quit it?" I was all excited because I misheard the name and I thought they were talking about Flow, who was this bizarrely superfamous rap-rocker in the books that I loved, and I was so excited that he might be involved that I kind of lost track of myself and didn't connect it to the song or anything in the real world. "What? No, my boyfriend broke up with me at a Flo Rida concert." Penelope makes a fake sad face. "One minute we were waving our hands in the air like we just didn't care, and the next..." B starts downloading a track immediately, in her usual Blair way of starting chaotic shit and then figuring out how to spin it once the screaming starts, and shares a devious and triumphant look with Penelope and then, a moment later, Hazel gets that something has happened, and makes the mean face too.

Elise and Jenny are on the loose again, wandering the streets on their own, this time with cute umbrellas. "Since the Dalton guys were a bust, how about collegiate? The boys' Lacrosse team is working out just around..." She spots the dog watcher boy, and stops in her tracks. Little J, in pink tights with yellow or orange Mary Janes, goes very Blair for a second: "What did I tell you about that dog walker? There are no kings on craigslist." But as Elise watches him hand the dogs over to an older woman, realizes that he's not the walker after all. He sees them and waves, surprised, and Little J moves in for the kill.

B spots Nelly Yuki studying on the floor of a hallway, backs up a few paces, and starts the song playing on her phone, then walks nonchalantly past Nelly Yuki, who immediately gets hysterical about Flo Rida some more. "Nelly Yuki, what's wrong?" B says, breathless and wonderful. "It's like it's happening all over again. That song just reminds me of my boyfriend...My ex-boyfriend, I should say..." She shuts the song down almost immediately, as though it's suddenly an insect now that it's attacking her friend Nelly Yuki, and crouches at her side. "Oh! No! ...Did he dump you? That's horrible. What was his name? Brad? Bill?" Todd. Jansen. Blair gives a speech, all in one breath, totally awesomely: "There's nothing like the fresh, sharp pain of a breakup. Believe me, I've had my fair share of heartache. But this is about you. Tonight you're gonna come over to my house, and just cry till you get it all out of your system." Nelly Yuki protests that she needs to focus for tomorrow, and B sweetly reminds her, "You can't focus when something's on your mind, now can you? Come, come, come." She closes Nelly Yuki's book with a tender smile. "Tell me all about it." Nelly Yuki smiles gratefully, and makes her first friend.

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Gossip Girl




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