Gossip Girl

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: A+ | Grade It Now!
Sparks Fly!

"Spotted: Serena van der Woodsen, being given a real-life multiple choice question. A) go home and study, B) get a good night's sleep, C) call your boyfriend, or D..." Serena finally gives her an hour, and Georgina smiles. "...None of the above. Hope that wasn't the wrong answer, S. This test doesn't grade on a curve."

Dan's studying at the coffee table in the living room; grounded Jenny does her homework at the kitchen island. "All right. Capacious. Looks like ... spacious. What does it mean? Roomy. Oh yeah." Jenny rolls her eyes and he practically gives himself a high-five. "Captious. Looks like... That looks like capacious. Oh. I can't concentrate." Jenny finally asks if maybe the constant monologue is distracting him, and Dan -- oblivious of course -- starts to tell her about his fight with mysteriously ill Serena, but Rufus comes home just then.

"Oh!" squeals Jenny, running to him, playing it masterfully but also being true and cute: "Lookit! Trig identities are memorized, my Latin is resurrected, and my Lit paper's finished." He looks through her papers, and hums. "Impressive. Seeing as you've returned the Valentino, and you've logged ten hours of volunteer work with Betty at the shop..." She burbles, "...I'm not grounded anymore?" Nope. But he did buy her a new sewing machine, to replace the one she pawned, which for a moment is almost enough. She giggles and hops around, and gives Dan a great WTF face when his contribution is that he's glad as anyone: "Do you know how much it costs to get a zipper repaired?" From around her suddenly multiplying octopus limbs, Rufus explains that he thought it would be especially good, given how she'll be continuing to spend so much time at home. "So I guess you're still grounded," Dan snots, and Rufus gives him a great look, like "Come on, Dan." He nods: too far, gotcha.

"Dad, wait. I met this really nice guy, and I'm supposed to meet him in the park for lunch tomorrow." Rufus is like, "You'd still be too young to date even if you weren't grounded," and she backs up to say that it's barely even a date. Dan asks who he is, and she tosses over her shoulder, "You don't know him, he goes to Unity." Which Rufus recognizes as an Upper East Side prep school, and Dan corrects that it's Upper West Side, and he's all, "How are you helping?" He reminds Jenny that she was going to take a break from that whole crowd, and she asks him to clarify his meaning. "The [whole crowd] that made you feel like compromising your character was a prerequisite to hanging out with them?" But it's okay for Dan to date a rich girl? Dan reminds them that he's having total drama with migraines and food poisoning and mysterious possible incest, but as Humphreys, it is their prerogative to keep talking like Dan didn't even say anything.

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Gossip Girl




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