Gossip Girl

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: A+ | Grade It Now!
Sparks Fly!

Rufus answers the door to a big goofy sexy kid, immediately recognizable as "the Unity boy," and the boy agrees, hoping he's the only Unity boy currently on Little J's dance card. He shifts his giant grocery bag to his other hip and holds out a hand: "Name's Asher, and I do go to Unity. Hi." Jenny runs up, pretty in pink, excited to see him, and asks the question Rufus is wondering about, which is what he's doing there. "Uh, since you couldn't come to the hotdogs, I'm bringing them to you. Sorry to surprise you, Sir." Jenny pronounces this "so sweet," especially given her "unreasonable father," who has grounded her for life. (Obligatory: "Standing right here" from Rufus, although he too is falling under the spell of sexy Asher.) Asher nods respectfully at him, and turns the Eddie Cleaver meter up to a billion: "I wish more of my friends' parents cared enough to ground them when they messed up." And now, you or me, we'd slam the door right there, because nothing says bad news like that ass-kissing creepiness, but it's Rufus: he just started parenting last week.

"Looks like our queen wannabe found her perfect king..." Jenny and Asher grin and act all dorky and into each other, and it is excellent, and Rufus gives in and invites the kid in, along with his many, many hotdogs. "We hear he's a Unity man. Guess big brother's been teaching little sis how to snag the ones with a trust fund!" They google-eye at each other some more, and are very cute.

Not cute: Dan, currently brooding in the park, wondering if he's actually been sold out by Serena like he always fears he might be. A big lovely retriever comes running up, and Dan grabs him, talking quietly. The girl with the dog comes running up after him: "Aw! Georgie, hey! Bad boy! Sorry he disturbed you." Dan assures her it's fine, he loves dogs, and Georgina asks if he has any. (I love the detail of calling the dog Georgie, because all this character has done since she got here is change people's names, turning them from one thing into another. Svetlana, Nadine, Tiffany, Angel... All the girls you can be.) "No. Uh, we used to have a cat, but you know... sister, allergies ... Now the cat -- Iggy -- lives in Florida with my grandma. I... He doesn't write. Never calls." She tells him she's sorry to hear it, and he's all, "It's just a cat?" Which is fairly awesome. He's doing meet-cute really well, even on such a bad day. He choked on the SATs, possibly broke up with his girlfriend who may well be a junkie this week, and lost his best girlfriend to the only male friend he's ever made. "I'm Dan. Nice to meet you, Sarah." And he notices that Sarah's really cute, and she makes the last scary face of the episode, and it's especially chilling, the end.

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Gossip Girl




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