Gossip Girl

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Jacob Clifton: A+ | Grade It Now!
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Sparks Fly!

Anyway. Thanks to Bad Serena, "The new one has to break 2000 on her SATs. So if you could just go smarm elsewhere..." He giggles, and reminds her of his offer to send a "lovely little redhead" to be Serena van der Woodsen for the day, so she doesn't have to take the test herself. "Oh, I'll leave the cheating to you, Chuck." He takes off, and she stares, kind of wildly relieved, into space. So clearly Georgina is in the shadows, waiting to strike. I've said it before, but my favoritest thing about The O.C. was how you would see one side of somebody and they were a villain, and then before you knew it you'd see more sides of them, and be able to integrate it until they were just a person. Like, B was always scary, but in a high school popularity way. She'd never kill anybody or put drugs in their drinks or do actual real-life mean danger stuff. So now there's G, and a link back to Bad Serena that only Chuck really gets, and finds just as terrifying as she does, even if it's just on her behalf because he knows she'd break before he would, so he's more scared for her than he is of G, who plays with the same range of weapons he does. It's exciting.

Jenny towers over the Bitches in the hallway at Constance. I knew she was super tall and I knew Hazel was super short, but seeing them all at once -- even gigantic Isabel -- it's like Snow White. Penelope and Hazel chorus that Little J's so lucky to be a freshman and not worried about the SATs, and Penelope minorly bitches that Nate never called her (I wondered how that would work out!), and Isabel muses aloud about joining Kati on kibbutz. Jenny, seeing two birds she can kill, invites the girls over to her house for lasagna and cramming. That way she won't have to deal with Rufus, and she'll be vaguely helpful in some way, even though honestly a schlep to Brooklyn plus another round of talking to Rufus, I'd rather raise chickens in the desert too. B appears out of nowhere, grinning fiercely. "That won't be necessary, Little J. You girls are all taken care of, courtesy of Blair Waldorf SAT Prep & Spa. ... If you're gonna sweat the test, it better not clog your pores. This evening at my penthouse, you'll find personal tutors, hot stone massages, mani-pedis and an amazing acupuncturist who specializes in mental acuity." Jenny's like, "That is more awesome than my dad's lasagna, you are correct." B offers to flickr her some photos, because she is not invited. Which Jenny accepts. Everybody stands around for a second, and then the Bitches all flock after Blair. "Spotted in the halls of Constance: Little J, realizing that age really does come before beauty." Gossip Girl, I love it when you make sense, but when you don't? I love you a little bit more.

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Gossip Girl

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