Increasingly, Manhattan's Elite were themselves busily acting as several sources into the scandalous lives of Manhattan's Elite. Serena's transformation into mossy blogwitch was complete, while Blair and Lily both realized that to love a Humphrey Man is to pay the Humphrey Price. The latter deemed it too dear, and set her rumpled man-toy out on the curb for Bulk Pickup day, while the former returned to her chrysalis once again to await further instruction on how to be a person. Diana Payne was exposed as one of Chuck Bass's many mothers, our dear Nathaniel shed himself of that thing called Lola, and the oft-abused Ivy Dickens got her ass turned out once again.
MAD SCENES & MAGAZINES
Gossip Girl: "Have you ever heard of magazines? They're this thing from before."
Dorota: "Is one of Miss Blair's many pretensions."
Gossip Girl: "Well, I hope you have an eye out for this latest NYM*, because it is going to make Blair crazy."
Dorota: "Would be something, no?"
Blair: "Dan, enjoy your literary activities and clothing. I will stay here, in a ridiculous housecoat, worrying about absolutely nothing, forever and ever."
Dan: "My hair has once again sucked the nutrients out of me."
*(New York Magazine, The Magazine About New York For New Yorkers In New York & Very Relevant To Those People & To Those Who Secretly Think They Are Those People. Such as your recapper.)
THE HALLS OF JUSTICE
Lily: "Man, I'm glad I paid off that nurse to once again smear Ivy's name into a paste."
Serena: "I know, right? It's fun to hate people with you again."
Lily: "A Rhodes Woman must always have a victim. Preferably one named Charlie."
Ivy appears in full Jennifer Humphrey regalia: Bird's nest hair, a few twigs stuck to her face, bathtub-drunk eyeliner running down, smudged lipstick surrounding her mouth area, fingernails jagged to the quick. Clutching an empty Kiehl's bottle in her hand that once contained... Who knows what? It's empty now, by God.
Ivy: "WHAT IS YOUR FUCKING PROBLEM, DUDE?"
Lily: "How many episodes is this? Do you still not understand how thoroughly jealous of you I am?"
Ivy: "OKAY BUT FOR REAL THOUGH. I HAVE A STAPH INFECTION, MAN."
Lily: "Ugh, how common."
Serena aims a swift kick to Ivy's abdomen, sending her out a second-story window and into the streets, and asks her mom about all that gorgeous tasty money they just won.