Wm vdW: "Why are you still stomping around on me? Sorry I lied, sorry I cheated on your..."
Serena: "No, this is about my daddy issues and nothing else. What's with being all over Lola's jock? The one thing you knew would make me fucking mental?"
She runs through their history, from What Happened In Santorini and the time she stole a horse to the many teachers and legislators and other male authority figures she's seduced over the years, just to connect the dots for his dumb ass, and then takes off.
Serena: "You broke my mom's heart, and now you just broke mine."
Remember when Lily had one?
Rufus: "I'm not staying, I just came to bitch at you some more."
Lily: "Whatever, kiddo. I am knees-deep in Mommy Juice right now."
Rufus: "You paid off that nurse and fucked over everybody. Enough is enough."
Lily: "Are you asking for a divorce? Because you're not getting any younger. I doubt you're gonna find another Upper East Side divorcee to pay for your lifestyle and listen to your constant whining."
Rufus: "Your money? Fuck your money, I shit on your money."
Lily: "You're the one that made it about that, when you went behind my back to save the little girl I was destroying. Sorry if shit got too real for you."
Rufus: "My lifestyle and my fucked-up morality have been incompatible all along!"
Lily: "Trust me when I say there's no judgment here. You're talking to the widow of Bart Bass. If I honestly thought there was anything wrong with living the way you live, I would have killed myself five husbands ago."
Rufus: "Oh, there's judgment here all right!"
That's on the Humphrey crest, actually. It's in Latin, but basically the whole thing is just this knight, holding a rose up in front of the sun and calling it a high-class bitch with no values. In Latin.
Chuck: "Oh, nothing. Just trying to scrape the image of you fucking my mother out of my brain."
Nate: "Well, I certainly wasn't up to no good out there. I didn't just come back from fucking a former lover -- who is maybe also your mom -- so I could steal her financial information and maybe also sleep with your uncle -- who is maybe also your dad."
Monkey: "You guys should just bone and get it over with. My God."
Chuck: "I mean, what is this show even about."