Lily: "Well, now it reverts to the previous will, so Carol and I will go back to bitching at each other about it like before this whole thing started."
Serena: "That's going to be annoying."
Lily: "Any amount of your annoying aunt is better than knowing Ivy Dickens can afford to eat."
Crazy Hot Reporter: "Lily, Lily! Can money buy you class? And followup question, did you really kick Lincoln Hawk back to DUMBO, essentially calling him a prostitute?"
Lily: "Don't be silly. Paparazzi, please come to PRADA for a dinner where I will make everybody act fake."
Crazy Hot Reporter: "Hey, will Eric or Jenny be there?"
Lily: "They are in Miami, you goose!"
Crazy Hot Reporter: "Pilot Inspektor?"
Lily: "Also Miami. I think."
Nate: "Diana, I know you can't be calling me for personal reasons. Every time I think of you now, I see a Bass in my face."
Diana: "You broke up with Lola and did something to your face. I think this means we're in love."
Nate: "Do you really think I would sleep with my best friend's mother?"
Diana: "Think about it, okay?"
Nate: "I can try."
Serena: "Did you really kick Rufus out? Awesome!"
Lily: "No, I just thought he needed to remember what Poor feels like. It'll be fine. Just bring Lola to the big Fake Dinner and act real fake, okay?"
Chuck: "I heard you rebounding with a girl on the phone. Care to give me more information?"
Nate, giggling: "No, it was your mom!"
Chuck: "Which of us should find this more awkward?"
Nate: "I'm too high to care, and you were born without shame or a soul, so I guess it's a draw? Anyway, wanna help me oust her from my company for like the third time?"
Chuck: "Let's stop fucking her for now, okay? I'm working through some shit."
Nate: "Hey, can I borrow your jockstrap? And also the only private investigator in the entire city?"
PI Andrew: "Jack Bass is funneling money through Diana Payne to control the Spectator."
Nate: "Huh. I was thinking it would be some other old woman I could fuck. But I mean, it's Jack Bass, right? I can work with that."
PI Andrew: "I went to Eton with him. Consider that one confirmed."