Gossip Girl
Despicable B

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: A+ | 2 USERS: C+
YOU GRADE IT
If There Is I Haven't Found It Yet

Rufus: "Your money? Fuck your money, I shit on your money."
Lily: "You're the one that made it about that, when you went behind my back to save the little girl I was destroying. Sorry if shit got too real for you."
Rufus: "My lifestyle and my fucked-up morality have been incompatible all along!"
Lily: "Trust me when I say there's no judgment here. You're talking to the widow of Bart Bass. If I honestly thought there was anything wrong with living the way you live, I would have killed myself five husbands ago."
Rufus: "Oh, there's judgment here all right!"

That's on the Humphrey crest, actually. It's in Latin, but basically the whole thing is just this knight, holding a rose up in front of the sun and calling it a high-class bitch with no values. In Latin.

EMPIRE

Chuck: "Oh, nothing. Just trying to scrape the image of you fucking my mother out of my brain."
Nate: "Well, I certainly wasn't up to no good out there. I didn't just come back from fucking a former lover -- who is maybe also your mom -- so I could steal her financial information and maybe also sleep with your uncle -- who is maybe also your dad."
Monkey: "You guys should just bone and get it over with. My God."
Chuck: "I mean, what is this show even about."

Nate: "Well right now it's about how Elizabeth Fischer emailed me -- from her monastery in Tibet -- these pictures of her being pregnant, which she just had ready to go, from twenty years ago. At her Tibetan monastery. You may notice a man who has a tattoo is also in the picture, mostly taking up the entire picture."
Chuck: "But I thought that crazy old thing couldn't get pregnant?"
Nate: "I think this is another insane plot by Jack Bass to make you think Diana was or was not your mother and Elizabeth Fischer is also your mother or maybe not."
Chuck: "But what on earth could it all mean? And what is with this tattoo man in the foreground of this picture, almost blanking out the entire picture?"
Monkey: "Maybe it's a clue, you goddamn idiots."

DUMBO

Blair: "So... Yeah, I was pretty awful tonight."
Dan: "Oh, welcome. I was just reading some literature."
Blair: "Listen. I sold myself out for a hotel, and then again for a tiara, and somewhere along the way I guess I forgot I am a person, with agency in my own life."

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Gossip Girl

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