Gossip Girl
Despicable B

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: A+ | 2 USERS: C+
YOU GRADE IT
If There Is I Haven't Found It Yet

Dan: "For the record, I fell in love with you when we were working at W, so I am actually familiar with your vicious competitive side. I have no illusions about you."

Blair: "Tell me about that girl. Blair Waldorf, from the show Gossip Girl."
Dan: "Fiercely strong. Independent. Outspoken, beautiful. Capable of anything. And no man, or magazine, could ever take that away from her."
Blair: "She sounds great. I look forward to meeting her again."

Fucking word. Now, literally at this point a song starts up going break the cycle/ round and round we go, in case you were somehow confused about what's going on here, but I'm not going to make fun, because I have to keep going, because I have something in my eye right now. But being as it is a conversation we waited two years for, we judge on the merits: That was beautiful, and to say it was earned is an understatement, and what on earth is going to happen now?

RHODES WOMEN

Wm vdW: "I know jail sucks, but let's think about our daughter. Give me all your mom's money, and we'll take care of Lola. I just wanna do the right thing."
Carol: "Good thing you're so trustworthy! I'm in."

Lily: "Thanks for fucking my sister over with me, Ivy. Here is a million-dollar check I just wrote with a ballpoint pen that says One Million Dollars on it."
Ivy: "Lily, for real though. I came here because I was being paid, but fell in love with you and your family the second I got here."
Lily: "You keep saying that, but I have formed an opinion. Not to mention the fact that there's actually nothing to be done about it. You're a loose end. I already have three kids I pretend don't exist, I can't have another one bouncing around. Not when I'm so close to provoking Rufus's suicide."
Ivy: "I could tear up this check?"

I gotta say, this scene got to me the most out of the whole episode, even more than finally getting Blair back, because it's so well-acted and you can see all sides of them both. You see Ivy thinking, "This time she'll believe me and it'll work and I can be okay again," and you see Lily thinking, "There just isn't a way to do that." She takes Ivy's hands, not roughly, and smiles.

"Goodbye, Ivy."

It's the coldest room in the universe. Maybe I'm just doing my own issues, but there is something very real here, I think. Something about aspiration, sure, and moms, but also something about broken people trying to fit together, or this hope that somehow the person with all the power will see that you're being real, or good, or valiant, or whatever, and they just look you in the eye and smile and say, not entirely without regret, "Goodbye." It's a breakup, it's that WASP hardness, it's getting evicted or expelled or fired. A sudden absence, right there in front of you. It's awful. It's so much worse than Lily simply screwing her over again.

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Gossip Girl

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