Wm vdW: "That's the downside to being in the 1%. There's just one, but it's a doozy! Listen, if you want to tell everybody about us, I'm down with that. I am positive I will suffer no ill consequences, and Serena will probably snatch you bald, but it's your call."
Lola: "No, I'm still quite paranoid, for obvious reasons."
Lily: "Rufus! Is that your name? Of course it is. Rufus Humphrey. I am drunk as hell right now, so I dropped by to bring you a bottle of bubbly bribe."
Rufus: "Are you willing to suffer more of my self-righteous emotional abuse?"
Lily: "Right now you could stick a fork in my arm, not sure I would feel it, so do your worst."
Rufus: You fuckin' know it.
His eyes light up like she just offered him a threesome with Stephin Merrit and he lays the hell into her, then escorts her to the door -- after nearly forcing her to drink champagne out of common tumblers -- with the most amazing exit line of all time, essentially, "Don't come back until you're ready to pretend your money is 'our' money again."
WM VDW HOTEL
Serena, lurking: "Back in town so soon? From a minute ago? And more importantly, lunching with Lola?"
Wm vdW: "I bonded with my 'niece' at CeCe's wake, and I feel sorry for her for being related to us."
Serena: "Okay, but why did you lie about being in town?"
Wm vdW: "Because I didn't want a bunch of this bullshit right here, basically."
Serena: "What about Fake Dinner?"
Wm vdW: "I don't want a lot of Rufus's bullshit either."
Serena: "Well, but please come. For me. And I'll invite Lola, too."
Wm vdW: "Then I will start drinking now. I know how this show works."
Secretary: "Any news on Jack Bass's whereabouts?"
Nate: "No, but thanks for asking!"
When Lola walks into a room, she keeps freaking me out looking like Jenny.
Lola: "Hey, I just found out who my dad is and I had lunch with him in public and now I want to talk to somebody about it, so I thought, hey, why not visit my ex-boyfriend at his place of business? After all, I recently pissed him off by exposing his best friend's own tortured parentage."
Nate: "Believe it or not, this is an ongoing thing with Chuck."
Lola: "Wait, really? That's ludicrous."
Nate: "Yeah, I know, but it happened. Keeps happening. There were ladies running around graveyards, a roaming hooker-nanny with a candle, sex people in masks, Carter Baizen of course, a madwoman hired and brainwashed by one Uncle Jack Bass..."