Gossip Girl
Despicable B

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: A+ | 2 USERS: C+
If There Is I Haven't Found It Yet

Lily: "Yeah, or until the heat goes out. Later!"

Ivy: "This better be good."
Lily: "Pay no attention to the creepy hungry grin on my face, and have a seat."


Young Lion: "Pour some more delicious literature in my glass, thanks."
Waiter: "This is a thrilling account of life under a totalitarian regime told through the graphic novel format, with hints of pomegranate and a leathery finish."
Young Lion: "This caramelized magical realism is delicious! It's nearly making the elbow pads on my sport jacket peel up."
Young Lion: "Have you tried the prosciutto-wrapped hoax memoir? Divine!"

Blair: "Dan, you may remove my unbelievably awesome coat, revealing the dress made of sparkling black diamonds beneath."
Dan: "You look enchanting. Clearly a scheme is afoot. After all, I told you to dress casual."
Blair: "Honey, this is casual."

Nice! But since Gossip Girl hasn't uploaded Dorota's blast about Blair overshadowing Dan yet, Blair's forced to attempt communication with humans. Never goes well. She plops herself into a conversation Dan's having with a famous person, and makes a full ass of herself immediately. Oh, girl. Still rooting for you.


Nate bribes Victor, formerly of the Empire Hotel and thus a friend/of use, to get into Diana's suite. He tosses the place! But in a Nate way where, first, he folds his jacket like a good boy and lays it carefully over the back of a chair. Somehow they have created the greatest character out of literally nothing. I will say this for S4 and S5: Nathaniel Archibald has become one of the awesomest people on television.


Famous Social Register Guy: "Lily, thanks for inviting me to your Fake Dinner!"
Lily: "It is for being in the social pages, so..."
Dude: "And why is your ten-foot-tall daughter stomping around like she's going to kick something?"
Lily: "Clearly she has forgotten about the happy face we talked about. Oh, Carol! Don't you look ravishing and crazy and shitty some more."


Diana: "Are you just going to go through my underwear drawer? Or are you gonna toss one in here?"
Nate: Instantly removes his clothing, possibly while saying words.


Carol: "Okay, William. I guess I'm not blackmailing you anymore now that I got half my mom's money."

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Gossip Girl




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