Dan: "Your ridiculous behavior, is it significant?"
Blair: "Only insofar as I believe in magazines. But there's also a valid point to be made here in which I used Chuck's Empire and Louis's Princeness to make myself feel special, and now with you I realize that I was just playing second fiddle and thinking I was first chair. I don't want to be a second banana, or a third wheel, any longer."
Dan: "None of this stuff matters to me. It's attractive, everybody likes attention, but I do not care about any of this. I'm happy to let you drive. I know what dating Blair Waldorf means, and no matter how dumb things get, it's what I signed on for. Are you so used to being controlled that you can't see how transparent I am when I try to do it? I don't have an agenda. I'm a Humphrey, my agenda is to be better than everybody else. Not in the pages of magazines or on blogs, just right here. In my heart."
Blair: "I don't feel like an equal, regardless of what you're saying. And it's certainly not how I'm being perceived."
Dan: "Well, give up caring how you're perceived, then. When I look at you, I just see awesome."
Nate: "That was good sex, for a three-year-old. I'm just going to go check on my Chuck, and steal this notebook I was about to steal when you came in here and made me fuck you."
Diana: "Wait! Blast."
Wm vdW: "Why are you still stomping around on me? Sorry I lied, sorry I cheated on your..."
Serena: "No, this is about my daddy issues and nothing else. What's with being all over Lola's jock? The one thing you knew would make me fucking mental?"
She runs through their history, from What Happened In Santorini and the time she stole a horse to the many teachers and legislators and other male authority figures she's seduced over the years, just to connect the dots for his dumb ass, and then takes off.
Serena: "You broke my mom's heart, and now you just broke mine."
Remember when Lily had one?
Rufus: "I'm not staying, I just came to bitch at you some more."
Lily: "Whatever, kiddo. I am knees-deep in Mommy Juice right now."
Rufus: "You paid off that nurse and fucked over everybody. Enough is enough."
Lily: "Are you asking for a divorce? Because you're not getting any younger. I doubt you're gonna find another Upper East Side divorcee to pay for your lifestyle and listen to your constant whining."