Steven: "Okay, but I have to make a quick gay joke about Anderson Cooper."
Serena: "That's my old man. Always timely with the zingers."
Blair: "Serena, you'll be sitting here in the front row, and Steven will be sitting back there next to Kristen Cavalleri."
Serena: "This is very disrespectful!"
Blair: "You just showed up five minutes ago."
Serena: "Yeah, who was going to be your model if I didn't walk in here?"
Blair: "Shit, I don't know. I just kind of assumed you'd come through for me, even against your will."
Serena: "No. This -- this -- is my line in the sand. I am going to bitch."
Blair: "No you're not. Sit there next to Nelly Yuki and act like this is a real fashion show."
Nelly Yuki: "I will cut you."
Whoa, Nelly Yuki is Gossip Girl. It just hit me, like a bolt from the blue. I will probably have another theory next week, but right now the auguries are just saying Flo Rida, Flo Rida, Flo Rida. Wait, I guess that could also be about Lola or Ivy? Damned obfuscating auguries.
Dan: "Sorry I didn't let you read it first, that would have been classy if I did that. Let you read my exposé of your perversions, before I published it."
Rufus: "For my part, I apologize that you didn't find out about Ivy from me."
Dan: "Kind of I did. Please don't ask. But Dad, listen. She's a con artist. Literal. She got Serena to buy her two houses, she nearly got us all killed by a beautiful rogue chef de cuisine, she went all Heathcliff on CeCe Rhodes without anybody knowing, she got Aunt Carol access to Lola's trust fund and stole checkbooks, she turned your ass out in the middle of a funeral..."
Rufus: "I kind of blame Lily for all of that."
Dan: "Okay, go back another season. That would be the year she made me fingerbang her on Queller's desk while calling her Serena, then threatened to jump out a window after throw a bottle of vodka at a freshman's head. And that, Rufus, she did not need to do. That was her, all her. Putting her stank on it."
Rufus: "Aren't we all actors, though, really? I mean, you're leaving out the time she and Lola pretended to be hookers to bring down a hired killer so that Lily's dead husband could stop traveling with a sex carnival and come home to take that old hag off my hands."