"Au revoir, l'enfant terrible" is what Gossip Girl is supposed to say, but I never thought for a second that Blair would end up with the best accent of them all. Anyway, Serena's leaving Chuck-related message after Chuck-related message, standing around this empty apartment while the landlady ignores her unwelcome stranger ass -- when you're a tiny little Paris landlady and an American hoss like Serena van der Woodsen comes in flashing a badge and giant boobs and says she wants a look around, you just try to look as small as possible, and clean up around her -- but when the phone rings, it is not Blair, it's Serena's partner in crimesolving: "Inspector Chevalier, of course! she says. I don't know why this is the funniest line in the episode to me, but it's so fucking funny. Inspector Chevalier needs more of Serena's help with this case immediately. He's like the Morgan Freeman to her Monica Potter/Ashley Judd! Just call her The Boner Collector. The Girl With The Vitamin Water Tattoo. The Girl Who Played With The Idea Of College. The Girl Who Mistook The Hornets' Nest For Clothes.
Wearing a just stunning red ballgown, Blair's at Harry Winston Paris having a good old-fashioned diamond orgy and making bad puns -- "Carats, clarity, charisma!" -- when she happens across a ring that catches her fancy. Right then Serena and Inspector Clousseau come in, literally by coincidence, and everybody starts talking.
It's kind of hard to understand, mostly because it makes literally no sense at all, but the gist is that the ring is coincidentally (1) the one Chuck was going to give Blair at the Empire State Building before he decided to fuck Jenny instead. The muggers, unable to sell it in Prague, took it to well-known fence Harry Winston (2). He refused to buy it, because Harry Winston is not actually a pawn shop, but coincidentally (3) remembered that Monsieur Chuck Bass was the one to buy it in the first place, so he called his old friend Inspector Chevalier (4) to report it, and Chevalier ("of course!") called his number-one agent Serena (5) so that she could identify it, despite never having seen it (6), several days after the fact (7) and after the mugger himself was murdered (8), but Serena noticed Chuck's blood on his wallet which leads them all to deduce (9) that Chuck fought so hard to hold onto Blair's ring that he got shot in the gut, which caused him to limp with his legs (10) after being rescued by a random French girl (11) who happens to have an oncle with a wine bar (12) in the 12 Arrondissement at which Chuck was scheduled to begin work (13) this morning, just as Blair was driving to get poor-people clothes for her date with the Prince of Monaco (14) whom she met by standing for hours in front of a Manet painting (15), immediately insulted sixteen times, and has been creeping out ever since.