Best show on television. Across the pond, Dan is whisper-yelling at Nate for telling Vanessa that he still cared about her, and this conversation takes so incredibly long even though it's quite simple that Vanessa eventually comes out from behind the collapsible screen that forms the walls of the loft and explains that she can hear everything they're saying. Of course, Dan and Nate immediately start stuttering and blushing and there is immediate word-vomit pursuant to the notion that Serena is on her way back to the UES and will be handing them her decision about which one of them goes to a concentration camp and which one gets shot in the face immediately. Vanessa, realizing that either of these outcomes is apparently more desirable than she is, finally gets offended for a real reason and stomps out in her lesbian sandals... Just as Lily and Rufus are showing up for another thrilling episode of Extreme Bedbug Infestation: Nursery Edition.

Serena, high on the feeling of power that only a well-solved murder mystery can give you, re-explains the whole stupid thing again about the ring and how he wouldn't let go of the ring. The only person who A) Could possibly know this story and B) Has any emotional stake whatsoever in telling this story, not to mention it being a pretty great idea for a scene with Blair, is Chuck, but he's not around and Serena's jumping the gun. Blair wishes Lily all the best in operating the Empire, and hopes that she can manage it without becoming a whoremaster like its last owner.

"Blair, he's changing his name. His landlady said he's on his way to the train station." Serena says both of these things as though she is talking about a chronic illness, and B just laughs at her. "You fuckin' do it," she says, and tries once again to go have her fairytale, but S is convinced that only B can talk him into... Whatever it is Serena wants him to do. Stay Chuck and not vanish to India, I guess. Blair tries to get the fuck on up out of there so she can do the Givenchy thing, and Serena fully starts over again from the beginning: "Blair. Blair, he almost died holding onto that ring!" And, it's implied but not necessary to state, the hope of one day regaining Blair. But since it would only be totally cheesy and stupid to say it out loud, Serena does. "And to the hope of you!"