Gossip Girl
Double Identity

Episode Report Card
admin: A+ | 1 USERS: A+
Je Ne Suis La Belette De Personne

Blair is wearing a champagne gown that is okay, with rosettes on the breasts, and trying on tiaras. This is because she is batshit insane. Serena walks in -- after a hard day walking the beat and defending the innocent using only the criminal justice system and her hard-won knowledge of forensic science -- still wearing the space clown look. "I'm off to meet his parents at a ball. Just look at all the gowns he sent! The fairy tale is back on! As long as the evil queen doesn't ruin it." They both know she's talking about Chuck; Serena even acknowledges it.

"The only person he wants to poison is himself," says Inspector van der Woodsen, fingering him for the third murder of Chuck Bass. Means, motive, opportunity, Serena says quietly under her breath, and pumps a fist gently in the air on her own behalf. Blair doesn't give a shit about any of this. She's got crowns, she's got a prince sending her entire racks of weird dresses, she's got a diamond crown on her head. "I've been waiting all summer to feel sparkly again, and I won't be pulled back into the darkness."

Blair takes the face of one of the French maids in her hand and presses it to the floor, slowly and with great care, one vein along her wrist more than usually prominent, as Serena "realizes" that she "can" solve the Chuck thing "on her own" -- and that Blair is doing that thing where if you push her one more inch she'll blow something up -- so S backs off and opens a package containing Chuck's deeds to the Empire Hotel and his shares in Bass Industries. Which I guess were secreted somewhere on his person at the time that he was shot to death and awoke with fake amnesia and never returned to his hotel? Or wait, I guess he got that stuff when he picked up his fake inheritance (from whom and whence we don't know or really care) but still, you'd think somebody would have called Lily at that point, right? Maybe Rufus answered the phone, and then immediately hung up when he heard French.

Anyway, Serena heads over to the shanty to yell at Chuck about his deeds, and his deeds, and the paperwork she has only just begun to decipher, though less so the note atop it: I'd rather have nothing than be Chuck Bass. This is very dramatic because when Serena disappears for months at a time, the first thing she figures out is finances. If Henry Prince is willing to do without -- this is a woman who was homeless for most of last season, okay, and still managed to cart around eight suitcases for just scarves and pieces of chiffon -- then maybe those bad guys shot him in the brain. If only she'd had more time with his body, Serena thinks, that autopsy she did on him might explain what he's up to now. (Know why you couldn't figure this one, Keyes? I'll tell ya. 'Cause the guy you were looking for was too close. Right across the desk from ya.)

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Gossip Girl




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