People do not talk like that. Ever. He heads away from this lexical danger zone to discuss how he misses Nate so much and misses the old times when they'd go off for private vacations in the middle of the school year while everybody else on the show was in class or doing normal-people things, and the sodomy and whatnot. And stinky old Serena has really been cramping their style in the five minutes that Chuck and Blair have been broken up, which puts Chuck in a precarious place where he has to do a bunch of drugs and fuck a bunch of girls and various sundry other of his "smokescreens." Then, having found the perfect solution to about half the storylines this week -- solving everybody's problems, like he always does, in the grossest way possible -- he invites Nate, along with Jenny, to the "art party."

Blair immediately starts throwing around "fatwa" when they get to the party -- which is the worst fucking thing, there's a nerd girl with a fake bird in her hair, and some kind of gothic tranny, and everybody's dirtbags -- and Dan and Vanessa are both still upset about the Tisch thing, and Vanessa says some dumb thing about how Blair in her Vanessa costume better not spill anything on Vanessa's "pleather leggings," and Blair sets out to find a boy to make out with for Gossip Girl's sake, and then over by the bar Nate is bitching at Chuck for bringing Jenny, because she's "just a kid," and Chuck points out once again that Jenny's now older than Serena and Nate were when they "christened the Campbell Apartment" that time. Chuck lasciviously asks if she "honestly" looks like a kid, and the camera travels along her little-kid body and allows you to make up your mind, because in fact, yes: She does look like a kid, because she is one. The only difference between N and S three years ago and Jenny now is that the actors that play N and S were forty-five years of age.

Blair meets a suuuuuper cute guy named Cameron, who like Nate attends Columbia. They discuss (her brother!) the work of Aaron Rose, but finally figure out that they're looking at an Ikea light fixture, and it's adorable. They meet-cute for a while, but across the party Chuck is hitting on some girl, so Blair suddenly fakes heat stroke and falls ridiculously into Cameron's vicinity for a second. Cameron doesn't find this odd, for some reason, and Chuck -- well, can you really tell the difference between Normal Chuck and Brooding Chuck? Maybe he gets it, maybe he's fooled and getting pissed, maybe he's saying a quiet inward prayer to Satan. No idea what goes on in there.