Gossip Girl

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: A+ | Grade It Now!
The Year Of Magical Thinking

"I know what this looks like," Nate shrieks, and Serena's like, "I will cut your face up!" and Nate whines and asks why she's even there and she's like, "To fucking cut your face up!" and he swears nothing happened, tonight or last night, and why did she hang up on him at that party a minute ago, and she says she hung up so she could come over here and cut his face up, and Nate runs out of words finally so Serena goes, "And what about all that transparent Teen Bitch bullshit she was talking? Do you agree with that?" Jenny -- oh girl -- stands up like she's going to turn this shit to her advantage and goes, "Yes, he does!"

Serena is suddenly backlit by rising flames and a throbbing red light fills the room and water starts dripping upwards and cats meow all over the city in a strange syncopated tune and blood comes out of Jenny's fingernails and Nate gets a little woozy from the waves of dark power coming off Serena's face as she explains, "I'm talking to Nate, Jenny."

It is literally the most beautiful thing that has happened all season. I rewound it so many times I wasn't sure I'd ever see the rest of the episode. But then the flames die down and the room returns to its normal color and Serena and Nate talk about everything and work everything out and explain everything in like two sentences, and immediately figure out that Jenny refused to pass along Serena's message when she left Dorota's wedding, and then Jenny is almost as amazing as she insists, multiple times, that Serena is making up this entire conversation they had. Like just boldly lying, in a way nobody ever ever does, and it's sort of magical. Jenny just keeps talking and talking and lying and the whole time Nate and Serena are figuring out that they've been duped, and finally Nate tells Jenny to get the fuck out of there. "You know, you two deserve each other," she says sulkily, and leaves. Like she's going to leave it at that. She will come back with a machete and you will all be in trouble.

Blair goes home -- her Vanessa costume even more glaring and gorgeous in the harsh lights Chez Waldorf -- where Dorota has not gotten rid of the box of Chuck memories, and of course no longer needs the stuff gone. "It's no use to deny the past. Chuck is a part of me. He'll always be. It just hurts so much." Dorota explains this Polish saying that love is "like head wound" because make you dizzy you think you die but you recover. Usually. It's just my Dorota hangover keeping me from enjoying this scene; objectively it's great. Dorota offers to take Blair to the duck pond tomorrow. She already bought the bread.

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Gossip Girl




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