"I sent her packing for both of our sakes. If it was ever made public that you had a dangerous liaison with a teenage Brooklynite -- who also technically is your stepsister -- you'd be socially guillotined!" I guess it's the Brooklyn part? Or the sister part? I can't see either of those making a dent, but in the weeks to come perhaps we'll see. Chuck runs off to somewhere mysterious, and the Minions -- that original one, Penelope, and a pretty blonde one with a crazy mouth who maybe never talked before or is just new -- appear and begin to sniff Blair's panties. Right there in the quad!
"I need you three little pigs to huff and puff over to the van der Woodsens'," Blair politely asks. "She's violating your order to exile?" (What that sentence means, I do not know.) Blair explains about the day pass, and Penelope's crazy face is all, "BUT WHY," and of course Blair won't say why. Which I mean, isn't that just as bad? "Yours is not to wonder why," the queen hisses, "Yours is to do, or die!" And into the valley of death they ride.
At PRADA everybody's so excited to see Jenny because she's the only interesting person they know and they're just waiting for her to skitz out or set something on fire or throw pills on the floor and scream about how she's a drug dealer. Eric -- who has gone from hating Jenny for no real reason to hating Chuck for no real reason -- plot-devices his way into the room with an unassuming air totally belied by his gun-blasting casual separates. I guess when we don't see him on the show he's somewhere working out and making up opinions to have.
Rufus, meanwhile, something about chili.
Dan and Eric follow Jenny around begging her to come out and play with them and go to Babbo with them and not leave them alone to deal with the Rose For Emily situation that Lily and Rufus have become. Jenny explains that she is not interested in going anywhere or doing anything, because if she gets caught having fun or breathing New York oxygen, Blair will bust a cap.
"She's the Wicked Witch of the Upper East Side, I'm sure one of her monkeys spotted me getting off the train or something, but it's fine," says Jenny, wearing a tiny dress on her tiny body with her tiny skinny legs poking out of it. Jenny plays it real cool like -- "Yeah, it is 100% vintage crazy-ass Blair, but really though" -- but her big brother Dan knows better than to ever take someone, especially a woman, at her word. She's acting like she knows Blair is ridiculous and that she's outgrown these petty games and that she's really only here for her own career and future, but Dan and Eric know better: She's a stupid bitch, like all women, and can't be trusted to make decisions on her own. She's a stupid bitch, like all people, and never says what she means.