Gossip Girl

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: A+ | Grade It Now!
to wound the autumnal city.

Colin doesn't quite have the sparkle of crazy in his eyes that made Tripp so goshdarned irresistible, I guess because he's not actually wild-ass in love with her (yet) like Tripp was. And yet he agrees to this. But then he's like, "So for example, if we're not dating, could we go on a date?" and Serena is like, "That sounds fine, why would that be a problem?" and he's like, "Or you could just drop out of this class that you started taking on a total whim and has only caused you heartache so far in this life?" Serena's like, "Yeah! These three hours and a seminar I'm taking this semester are getting me down. And it's not like Business is my major anyway." What is her major? I don't know. If this were real life? Communications. The study of communicating.

Jenny, eyeliner, Vanya from Minsk, take the dresses special delivery to the fitting at Tim Gunn's house. Chuck calls because he "accidentally" grabbed her portfolio when he was unreliably narrating his own actions to Papa earlier, and Jenny's like, "That is a fine fucking mess because Blair is going to fuck up my face if I deal with you in any way." Chuck's like, something about grumble grumble, it doesn't matter, because Jenny heads over there and the Minions catch her doing it -- they like to hide behind parked cars and sort of leer and that way they get to smell like car exhaust all day -- and then B rolls her eyes and has to be like, "Well, my afternoon just got stupid." And then she pulls out her gat and it's back to the mines.

So what happened was, Jenny left PRADA to go to Parsons, and made a stop at the Empire on the way. And while she was doing that, Dan was heading right to Parsons. Why? No reason. Creepiness is its own reward. And what he did then, before his sister showed up, was scope Veronica, Tim Gunn's assistant and the person who set up this meeting. So -- of course -- he introduced himself to this strange woman that he has no business talking to, and they sat around waiting for Jenny, and then when Jenny showed up, for the meeting with the people she was meeting, irrelevant fucking Dan introduces his sister to the people she is there to meet. He is carrying the Vanessa ball this week so fucking hard.

Sometimes Ben needs to use the payphone and call collect. Other times he'll just go ahead and sent his sister text messages. It all depends on what kind of jail he's in that day: Regular jail, or imaginary. Juliet tries to explain that Nate is an impossibly great guy with a bottomless well of compassion in his giant beating heart, but without Dan Humphrey there to take care of everything, she has no hope of getting her point across. So then Ben decides to assault the Captain so Juliet will be afraid of him again and keep her eye on the ball and stop having feelings for perfect Nate.

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Gossip Girl




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