FAKE EMPIRE

Serena: "Chuck, why are you boozy-eyed and crazy right now? Why did I shut down this party?"
Chuck: "Argle-bargle."
Serena: "Girl, what are you talking about? You saved your legacy or whatever."
Chuck, verbatim: "All I ever wanted was to know him, for him to let me in. He lied to me until the day he died."
Serena: "Okay?"
Chuck: "I need to talk to Blair. She's the only one who will understand!" (Goes zooming in the direction of 'away,' as though Serena could never identify with his predicament, even though her mother set a couple people on fire just to get her kids into Constance/St. Jude's and she comes from a long line of creepsters.)

Serena: "Oh, shit! This is serious! You've shot past Kissing Bandit Rapist on the drunk scale and straight into Charlie Trout On The Rooftop territory! Maybe you should go to bed."
Chuck: "No, I'm going to lurch about like a half-eaten marionette."
Serena: "I'm cool with letting you do whatever you want. Let's go find Blair. Let's just hope she's not locked in an embrace with absolutely the worst person for us to find her with."

WALDORF

Blair: "Why are you at my house? DUMBO is that way."
Dan: "I've been wandering around the world, writing poetry."
Blair: "Gross. Go to Brooklyn. Rot there."
Dan: "But what if we are in love? What if Rufus and Dorota are the blind squirrels and we are their eventual nut?"
Blair: "You're talking nonsense! Keep talking."
Dan: "I have an idea."
Blair: "Fuck your idea. Also: What is your idea?"

Dan: "I will kiss you."
Blair: "You will never kiss me. Also, though, totally kiss me. Right now."
Dan: "I'm going to!"
Blair: "Fine! Just do it. In the name of science."
Dan: "I'm about to! Let's count to three, okay? One kiss, count of..."
Blair: "-- Good God, Humphrey."

(She kisses him. Freeze-frame. Six fucking weeks to wait. XOXO.)