Meanwhile, guess what's haunting the rooms of PRADA MARFA once again? That's right, old Vanessa Abrams, overhearer and dropper of eaves. Lily's like, "Fool me once, shame on my daughter for getting roofied and murdered. Fool me twice?" Vanessa apologizes insincerely for that night she "helped" to engineer the death and indictment of both Lily's daughters, respectively, because not even Vanessa is capable of understanding how fucking useless she was/is/eternally will be. If they knew how much she was fucking up every stage of Juliet's plans they'd be like, "Thank God we have the enormous fucking-it-up powers of Vanessa on our side." But no, so if you could just wait a second, I have this whole other half-true bomb to drop that will decimate your family from a brand new direction. Lily's like, "Don't sit on my furniture. But continue speaking."
Mrs. Sharp abruptly goes, "I left my purse upstairs, in Serena's underwear drawer next to the forged affidavit that Serena keeps in her underwear drawer, and then I'm afraid I have to leave. Enjoy your pizza." Then she goes up the stairs with arms in T-Rex Nosferatu pose and the staccato violin accompaniment of ultimate catburglary.
Dan and Blair, in the midst of avoiding each other, run smack into each other and yell for awhile about how rude it is to have been the stander-up and not the standupee; it ends so unsatisfactorially/yearnfully that even GG is like, "The fuck just happened with those two?"
Only, you know, in her nonsense-talk. Which speaking of, check out what Chuck is about to say to Nate w/r/t Raina switching boys:
Chuck: "I guess the Archibald charm wasn't as rusty as you thought. Unlike the knife in my back!"
Nate is so confused by this incomprehensible blather that he reverts to classic Nate and goes, "Sorry that I like Raina and Raina likes me, but we like each other. You're welcome for explaining it!" Chuck says that's fine -- he's only like in love with her like he has been with every other girl -- but could Nate possibly put together an elaborate scheme where he and Raina hide in a random room at the Empire and then bust out once Russell has said some unknown bad thing about whatever? For surely that will change... Nothing at all, really.
Nate's all, "I can totally do that, that is not insurmountable for my limited powers of logistics at all. Just tell me the time and place." Place: Somewhere in a giant hotel that Russell will have to be convinced to go, in the company of his enemies. Time: Some point tonight after Russell shows up and gets snookered into saying the TBD thing. Nate's like, "Ten-four. Now explain that thing before. Am I the knife? Why is the knife not rusty? Where did the knife come from? Is the knife my charm? Are we friends now?"