Gossip Girl
Empire Of The Son

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: A+ | Grade It Now!
Reader, She Kisses Him

You know who else has noticed Blair's odd behavior? That old Dorota, who assumes that Blair has finally joined a cult: "You don't come to me with any complaints about anything. You're too happy. Content!" Blair's whirling eyes focus on her for a second and she pink-clouds her way through Denialtown and then punches Dorota in the throat for not getting her a dress yet for Chuck's big episode-ender gala.

Russell Thorpe: "Here to gloat?"
Chuck Bass: "To fuck your daughter, and then gloat."
Russell: "Thanks for inviting me to your big gloat party about saving your company."
Chuck: "Thanks for rolling over like a dog and sitting there while I try to humiliate you."
Russell: "Two things: First of all, Raina has totally been dating Nate for a while, you idiot. Secondly, I have more tricks up my sleeve regarding your company."
Chuck: "...Wait, what? And secondly: What?"
Russell: "See you at the party! Tell Lily to go fuck herself!"
Chuck: "This is because you're once again wearing more purple than I am. O, industry."

Nate: "So I thought maybe we'd catch a matinee at the Ziegfeld before heading over to Blondie's to watch Villanova whup ass on Notre Dame."
Raina: "I don't know what those words mean."
Nate: "I don't actually either. They said it on Entourage."
Raina: "I always tell the truth, you know. I have dignity and honor and truth-telling and those are the main things of me."
Nate: "Really? I was not aware."
Raina: "So you have to tell Chuck that we are smoking pot together and voguing and putting on cucumber face masks and singing Ke$ha karaoke -- before this party tonight -- or else my integrity."

Dan's just kinda lounging around on Blair's bed while they discuss the day-long date they're about to go on, just like yesterday and the day before. Blair gets super insane about Field Trip Procedures, and it's awesome, and Dan notes her predilection for "plausible deniability" about them coincidenting into each other all the time, and then Dorota comes running up the stairs yelling about something so B shoos poor Dan into Serena's bedroom and screams at Dorota for a while; of course Dorota immediately notices the magazine Dan left on the bed, its address label, and the horrible truth this all connotes: Blair has joined a cult, the same one Serena just recently left again but will surely be rejoining momentarily. Humphrey's Gate.

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Gossip Girl




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