Ben: "Hey, Nutso! How come you schlepped all the way to DUMBO instead of giving me space?"
Serena: "Oxytocin is released into the brain during orgasm, making me think that we own each other and more importantly subjecting me to actual withdrawal symptoms if we don't communicate, which is why most people turn into stalkers or chocoholics after doing it unless you act like a gentleman and cut a sister a break."
Ben: "Thanks, Mother Nature!"
Ben's Actual Mother: "Hey, bitch that took my son away for five years."
Serena: "IT'S SO NICE TO MEET YOU, CAN I CALL YOU MOM?"
PRADA MARFA. Vanya drops off Lily's Elie Saab for tonight, and among the dry cleaning is an orange jail overall with a note that says basically, "Get it?"
Ben: "Mom, I don't even know this girl! Except as a former student that got me arrested and ruined my life. But it's cool, she's my roommate's sister-wife. Hey S, since we don't know each other, would you mind have a hushed and not-at-all suspicious convo with me right outside the door, in the hallway?"
Serena: "BEN'S MOM! LET'S DO LUNCH! WE CAN TALK ABOUT HOW YOUR DAUGHTER ROOFIED AND MURDERED ME AFTER I RUINED HER LIFE AND DESTROYED YOUR FAMILY A SECOND TIME BY SLEEPING WITH YOUR NEPHEW, PROFESSOR COUSIN!"
Ben: "I feel it's even possible that this will go well."
While Rufus bounces a circus ball on his nose like a seal desperate for attention, Chuck and Lily discuss who might have sent the clever message. They try to think of everybody they've pissed off. This does not narrow it down for shit.
Somebody leaves the kennel door open and Rufus goes zooming out of PRADA and into the elevator; he is cornered on the ground level by his son Daniel, who has a problem that he needs advice about but can't talk about at all. Essentially, what if you were dating the worst person in the world, but neither of you actually knew that you were dating, and because of various other commitments neither of you could talk about it anyway?
Rufus jumps right over how this is not actually a problem, you just answered your own question, and into the basic Humphrey Mess of how all women are innately evil and it just goes with the territory that you would be ashamed to date them and thus it's natural and healthy for a man to want to keep his females secret. However, is it because you are in love that you are acting so dumb about this non-secret non-problem?