Gossip Girl

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All The Boys Think She's A Spy

"Well, that's my shallow Hollywood roommate -- also one of the nicest, smartest people I've met at college -- Excuse me." Gabriela rolls her eyes, essentially, as Vanessa leaves to take the call -- wearing, by the way, a very gorgeous rusty-red dress -- in a nearby alcove. On the other end, the hideous crazy purple dress has moved to Olivia, and she's chosen to wear it with a billion stupid tiger-eyes on a necklace. "Dan's making Indian chicken," she says, and Vanessa corrects her -- "Moroccan, actually" -- because she can't fucking help herself. Olivia asks why Dan changed his mind about the Parents' dinner, and Vanessa flips out and fills in the blank spots of her lie with autobiography: "Look, Dan's parents are just really judgmental, and they're always going on about celebrities and the dumbing down of culture." She immediately realizes what an asshole she's being and tries to retract, but Olivia jumps on it -- after all, it's her worst nightmare coming true, and the thing she let down her guard about to be with Dan -- and starts yelling: "So he's worried his parents will think I'm some shallow Hollywood pinhead? Like Dan's embarrassed to introduce me to them? You don't need to make excuses for him, okay? I get it. I gotta go." Once again, Vanessa has made a mess.

Josh plays with Chuck's hair, asking where he gets his hair cut, and Chuck gamely puts him off for awhile, trying to play out their time, but Blair's watching and waiting until the very second Josh actually lands one on him before she runs up and starts screaming. Josh blushes and peaces, and she goes following after. Chuck feels gross about the kiss. B plays out the stage scene from "Age Of Dissonance" again, where she yells in one role by quietly talking through another, smacking him with her purse all the while: "Hey! Have you no sense of decency? Well, you got your kiss." Josh laughs: Apparently a kiss from Chuck Bass is #27 on the TriBeCa Scavenger Hunt. "Check." She keeps going. "I expect more from a representative of a college! And the toast?" All hers. She sighs happily, and offers to tell Vanessa herself: "We're rivals, but friends at heart. Until tonight. Out, you cable-knit queen!"

Chuck arrives and Blair apologizes for being late -- "I got caught in a text flurry with Dorota" -- and he's off to some business meeting. Blair says she might pop in on the Parents' Dinner, just for laughs, and asks if he's okay: "Are you upset because you kissed a guy?" He grins sweetly and tells her no, it's because he kissed somebody that wasn't her. "You really think I've never kissed a guy before?"

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Gossip Girl

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