Gossip Girl

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: A+ | Grade It Now!
All The Boys Think She's A Spy

"...A temperament which consists mostly of swooping about on a broomstick and screaming at the top of my voice. Infants behave the way I do, you know. They carry on and misbehave. They'd get drunk if they knew how, when they can't have what they want. When they feel unwanted or insecure or unloved."

Just then, Vanessa comes around the corner, thanking Josh Ellis for the opportunity to give the speech. "You," Blair dramatically shudders, and Vanessa shrugs. "Yeah, Blair. Me." Blair informs her that, FYI, one "insipid article" doesn't make a difference in the long run: "The fever will pass, like swine flu." ("It may take time," Chuck said.) Vanessa, mostly excited for herself but rising to the bait, smiles frankly at Blair's nasty Mean Girl grin: "Huh, then I wonder why Josh Ellis -- He's this kind-of-important alumni liaison? -- told me to start working on my toast for the freshman dinner?" Blair storms off, and the minions stare at V, at a loss, before Blair screams at them to follow. Vanessa runs off, giggling to herself.

Olivia gives Dan a "compliment watch" from Japan -- "It's 11:45. Your hair is so pleasing!" -- and of course he thinks it's the best thing ever invented: He never let Serena play that role, just Vanessa. Talk turns to this weekend, and he mumblecores about how he was going to invite her to Parents' Weekend, since she has none apparently, but immediately steps back as only a Humphrey can: "I know you're probably exhausted..." Olivia immediately agrees, and he's confused -- the parents will be there, at Parents' Weekend -- but she explains in a sympathetic way: "Dan. The last three guys I dated? I met their agent, their manager, their publicist, a personal trainer who also read tarot cards... And I never met a single one of their parents. I would love to meet yours." She has just no idea.

But she's so sweet! I'm kind of feeling Olivia at this point. I mean, she's got a lot on her plate, and she's only realizing the bag of bullshit that he represents, but she's so above-board that it's really refreshing, especially for this show. Plus you have the whole star power/character game going on that this show's always done so well, creating IRL drama for the young actors on the show that creates interest in the show -- all shows have this, the idea that "Blake Lively" or "Chace Crawford" or whoever are as fascinating to watch as Blair and Chuck on the show -- which is about treating these characters are celebrities for no reason, and she's like the ultimate version of that, a star playing a star trying not to be one, set against the socialite kids who can't help what they are, in the context of a show created for an entertainment and gossip-hungry audience that's doing everything it can to elide the difference.

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Gossip Girl




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