Lily sure is drinking a lot of apple juice, just like she did when she was pregnant with Serena, so I sure hope she's not pregnant on top of her Illness, because what's worse: Lymphoma or having a Humphrey growing inside you and sapping all your nutrients? When she was pregnant she liked apple juice, regular and also a special kind that was green, that Will used to go get for her in the Village because he loved her so much, and because juice and juicing fruits was all the Jack LaLanne rage back in the 1990s, or whenever this all happened. Lily decides, now that they're remembering romantic juices past, that it's time to talk about the speech at Columbia where he offered to bone her right in front of her husband and he's like "Sorry that was so weird" and sort of vaguely lies about it.

And because Lily will accept any lie, no matter how unlikely, rather than face anything whatsoever, she's like "I thought that's what it was, just like this weird vague thing that happened. Whew!" Will decides to test this theory -- that Lily will buy any old crap -- in a big way: "And I'm just so thrilled to get to know the kids. You've just done such an amazing job, Lily. Really." He also gives Rufus credit for how great their suicidal son and alcoholic homicidal daughter turned out. Lily, this show is ridiculous on many levels, Lily goes, "Those homeopathic remedies are clogging up my humidifier. Want to check it out?" And then they go upstairs and like unclog her homeopathic humidifier, if you know what I'm saying.

Okay, the medication that Chuck was investigating -- Also, why does he have the number of the house line in DUMBO anyway? Why introduce the complication if you're going to solve it in ways that are more distracting than the original thing? -- is, and this is pretty rad, an antibiotic for the treatment of African River Blindness. That's amazing. I feel like the show must be winking at us, a tiny bit, but it's hard to buy that because some of the writing is just dumb and bad, and then other times there's like this glimmer. So anyway, Chuck would like to use this opportunity, not that he doesn't love Lily because he does, but he would like to involve Blair, "someone highly trained in the art of extorting information." He is very seriously insane, acting-wise, in this episode, and turns every scene into, like, Hamlet eating a hoagie.