Rufus shows up for Jenny's books, and Serena runs into the living room with her usual Vena Cava, plus zero amount of pants, barking at him to leave and baring her teeth and shaking her hair. Rufus asks if he can go to this Friends of the Library benefit with them, and Serena says she'll see him in hell, and he's like, "Why are you still mad that I blocked your dad's sublet?" and S is like, "I'm mad at you for other reasons," and he's like, "What reasons?" and she says that Holland told her secrets and Rufus is like, "Let's get Holland up here to explain what's going on, even though none of this has anything to do with Lily throwing me out last night." Maybe he's just trying to distract everybody long enough to figure out why she did that in the first place, because it was kind of random.

Holland comes upstairs and hems and haws and finally explains that she and Rufus fucked that night that there was a scarf. Rufus is like, "AS THOUGH I HAVE THE BALLS TO DO THAT. THIS IS ABSURD." Lily, Serena and Eric flee the scene, Will pretends not to know Holland, Dan stands around awkwardly and Holland finally leaves, having lied convincingly that anyone would ever have sex with Rufus, ever, and then Nate (?) wanders into their home and asks Dan what just happened, and Dan makes a wonderful, wonderful eye-rolling dramarama face, into a perfect cut to the next scene.

Rufus follows Lily upstairs and goes, "I'm sorry! I had no idea she was an insane person!" Lily isn't interested in talking about the issue, because Holland and logic both say maybe she has a shot at getting out of being married to Rufus. She goes, "It'd be a lot easier to believe if you hadn't left your scarf in her apartment," which for some reason I find delightful. Delightful! Then Rufus essentially bases his entire argument on how even though Lily is a whore who would cheat on him in Santorini or any old place, he's a much better person than she is: "When you're ready to hear that and talk about it, give me a call," he says, and minces away. Who, honestly, who thinks like this?

Nate wanders into Serena's room, where she is taking the inevitable thousand scarves out of one receptacle and putting them into another, because that's honestly just what she does now: Packs and unpacks in different outfits. Nate points out that Rufus is A) Technically a nice guy and B) Nobody would fuck him, but Serena is not having it because she has to get herself all worked up and stay all worked up, because if she wishes hard enough she can make Rufus vanish and her father marry her mother magically in his place. So that's what she's doing this week. Nate points out that, additionally, A) Rufus let him move into the DUMBO loft, back when he was the East Side Squatter and B) Rufus was totally sweet and chill with Serena when she dropped out of the idea of college for no reason at all. Serena's like, she has had it with Nate's slow-moving inexorable logic, so she purses her lips and bounces. Those scarves can wait.