Gossip Girl

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Jacob Clifton: A+ | Grade It Now!
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L.Y.L.A.W.T.F.

So they discuss what is going to happen for awhile, which is that they will blackmail Holland at this benefit, and everybody leaves to go get dressed for the thing. And once again, Nate gestures toward an idea of something funny without actually having anything funny to say, by way of explaining how often they do these massive sting operations: "Last year Georgina pretended to be this rich Canadian to get Poppy, but things got all messed up when she turned her back on Jesus!" Which would have been so funny, if they'd actually written the joke instead of just pointing at the general location of what's funny and asking us to do the work ourselves. You could just throw a random Dorota in there and some fucking waffles and fatwas and really go to town.

Okay, Serena doesn't understand why Will just bought Lily a juicer, and instead of explaining it to her he just acts like it's super-romantic, and she gets all gawky and sweet about it and then goes, "Sometimes I wish she would have let you take us away from here when you wanted to. Tibet sounds pretty good right now." Does it, Serena? Does TIBET sound really FUN right now? Instead of slapping her privileged face, he goes, "Only if you don't get typhoid!" Plus, things are shitty all around when you're a creepy old skeezix like him. Which she sort of is. Serena says, though, on the other hand, maybe this is just the magical-thinking way things had to go in order to get her daddy back: "Well, as awful as it's been, maybe mom needed this to see that she wasn't with the right man... And this whole thing with Rufus could have happened so that you could finally stop hiding how you really feel!"

I love how Serena has made friends with her mother's cancer.

Anyway, Will is like not even interested in hanging out with Lily, because there's a creepiness. So he gives her the juicer and takes off, promising to take her to the Library thing, and also begrudgingly her mother. She goes upstairs and catches Jenny pawing through Lily's pills, and yells at her and is totally mean, and it's great. She's got all the cleverness she was missing in Act I, and it's mean girl fun. Finally though she pushes Jenny to the point of no return, and there's a moment where you can see in Jenny's eyes that she is suddenly okay with Lily dying. Like, "Oh yeah, bitch? Let's see if you're so hot once I don't stop your father from poisoning your mother. Who's the bitch now, bitch?" It's awesome. I love Jenny so much. She is just out of control.

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Gossip Girl

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