Blair: "I've never been so happy to be surrounded by so many bridge and tunnel types!"
Minions: "That's what we are anyway!"
Penelope: "Let's all do shots and play an incredibly contrived game where Beatrice names off a list you gave her of all the scandalous actions your former lovers have committed. You know, like would happen in real life."
The Blonde Columbia One: "If nobody can name the right ex, we all take a shot! But if we guess right, you do."
Blair: "That's shit not even Serena knows, which explains why I told my demonstrably treacherous future sister-in-law. That makes sense."
Beatrice: "Oh, I forgot to tell the maid of honor where this party was."

Blair runs off to call Serena, which is funny -- "My phone must be breaking up, I thought you said you were at Panchito's" -- and Blair's like, "Yes, this is normal."

Serena: "I doubt highly that Beatrice would forget anything, especially this. I'll come as fast as I can."

WALDORF

Tripp!

Serena: "Hey, Tripp. Glad you came."
Tripp: "I saw your fight with Nate and I appreciate that you're standing up for me, after I sexually harassed you and sold you out to my bitch wife and nearly got you murdered by wolves."
Serena: "I'm doing this because it's the right thing to do, not because you're wonderful, Tripp."
Tripp: "I am used to not getting credit for anything."

PARTY

Q: "Lord Marcus's favorite song."
A: "'Where Do Broken Hearts Go?'"

Heh. Scandale! Beatrice texts the Bitches all the answers to these questions, and therefore Blair will be taking all of the shots. For being the worst, Beatrice sure does have a distinctive artistry about her bullshit. And Blair just laughs and laughs and drinks, while the Bitches urge her on and on. There is an absolutely adorable montage of them partying, which I thought was going to be the most annoying part of the whole episode but is actually fantastic, so thanks to Amy Heckerling for that.

DUMBO

Rufus: "I'm going to keep laughing in this forced way until you ask me what I'm reading! You know, like a child would."
Dan: "Fine, what."
Rufus: "Serena's column is great! Does that bother you?"
Dan: "Forever. Forever, I will talk about that."
Rufus: "Enjoy being the It Couple and selling out! And please don't tell me about the fake dating scenario because I'm sure it has to do with Blair. Which, by the way, is nuts."
Dan: "You're right. I should probably just crash her bachelorette party."