Gossip Girl
Gossip Girl

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: A+ | 475 USERS: B-
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But soon enough, the creepiness goes away when Blair admits she's been secretly reading Louis's vows, which he hid -- of course -- in the same desk drawer where they hide things to be found by each other. Serena, who looks like a Grace Coddington wet dream, just absolutely perfect and fantastic and more than a little forbidding, sits down to giggle about Louis.

Blair admits that the vows really moved her and that Louis truly does understand her -- it's just that when he speaks aloud, nobody would know -- so she's back to being cool with the wedding. Aw, I like that they threw Louis a bone like that.

And, of course, Serena's free to give up the Humphrey façade. Serena makes exactly the face she's been making all episode one more time, and then "adorably" throws the sash, blinding Blair and sending her into a tailspin. Ah, roomies.

OUTSIDE

Cavalia: "So when you broke up with me, I told your mom that you were still plotting against your brother, so we decided you have to go do missionary work in East Africa."
Beatrice, verbatim: "I'll tell my mother we slept together, you'll be defrocked!"
Cavalia: "Bitch versus priest, bitch."
Beatrice: "So what, even if you screw me over you still can't stop the wedding."
Cavalia: "Good thing I have a secret accomplice. Have fun in Africa."

Oh my God please be Georgina please be Georgina please be Georgina

DUMBO/WALDORF

Serena: "Hey, funny thing. Blair wants us to keep dating until the wedding. Is that cool?"
Dan: "It's not the worst thing in the world. Just until the wedding?"
Serena: "Yeah, sure! But we should go on dates and stuff, right?"
Dan: "Like coffee or whatever?"
Serena: "Sure, or dinner. Or movies. Or like spend all our time together."
Dan: "I'll call you later."

Gossip Girl: "Trapped under the weight of a false accusation, I've done a lot of thinking about the kind of Girl I want to be from now on. I'd like to be the kind who does what she says she's going to do..."

INSIDE

A courier arrives with a fun gift for Dan, a first American edition, with a note inside:

Thank you for writing my vows. It'll be our secret. -- Louis

Reader, I cried. I choked on it. I made that sound you make. Well fucking done. This is the best episode in years, start to finish. Literally a checklist of the best things about this series. And the book? Camus's L'Étranger, usually translated The Stranger but more appropriately would be called

Gossip Girl

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