Rufus: "I'm going to keep laughing in this forced way until you ask me what I'm reading! You know, like a child would."
Dan: "Fine, what."
Rufus: "Serena's column is great! Does that bother you?"
Dan: "Forever. Forever, I will talk about that."
Rufus: "Enjoy being the It Couple and selling out! And please don't tell me about the fake dating scenario because I'm sure it has to do with Blair. Which, by the way, is nuts."
Dan: "You're right. I should probably just crash her bachelorette party."
Rufus just keeps laughing until he's out the door. Um, that was not a fucking funny column. It was heartbreaking, sure, but even on a surface level it was pretty straightforward. So it makes it seem like Rufus hates her, basically. Which is funny, but arises I'm sure from the fact that the person who wrote the script didn't write the content of the blog post -- which for all we know could have been written the day of shooting, as a prop; in fact if you think about it it's possible not even the actors have seen it -- so there was a miscommunication between the intent of those two things that nobody in production noticed. That's my theory. Although Rufus laughing at her pouring her heart out, like "this stupid bitch, I remember when we put your ass in jail for no reason" is a whole lot more fun.
Blair: "You're so awful and gross, no wonder we get along."
Beatrice: "Listen, why are you marrying my brother if you don't love him?"
Blair: "Girl, I do love him. There's always going to be stuff."
Beatrice: "You can't choose who you love."
Blair: "But you can choose how you love them. Sometimes not being with a person is the better choice."
Word. Beatrice thinks about it and decides to sober her up and/or roofie her in grand GG tradition, and Blair continues to enjoy being in this episode more than she has for the last year at least. It is a joy to watch.
Tripp: "I didn't do this, so thanks. But I can say that I remember the day of the accident, Maureen called a car to take her to the Empire..."
Serena: "Holy shit! Jacob was right!"
Tripp: "Granderbilt passed me over for Nate, and you know how she gets..."
Granderbilt and Nate suddenly appear out of a hidden compartment in the wall!
Wm.: "We've heard enough, I think. Thanks, Nate."
Nate: "Actually this was all Serena's idea."
Tripp: "Oh my God, Jacob was right again!"
Nate: "She knew Tripp wouldn't admit to anything, so we did the whole fake argument and then you'd pin it on Maureen. Just like you did the last car accident, when you left S for dead."
Serena: "Like I would even talk to you! You are a scrub!"
Tripp: "I'm not pinning anything on Maureen, you can ask her yourself..."
Wm.: "Wrong again. She and I were meeting with a divorce lawyer at the precise moment you just said she called for the car. Suffice to say you are screwed."