Dan jumps to the mournful Beatrice's defense -- proving Blair right, to my mind -- and blames Chuck, and Blair scoffs in some way I couldn't catch, but Dan's pretty positive this is a Chuck thing. Which, to be fair, it does have some of the hallmarks. Beatrice takes Blair off to speak privately, leaving Dan to be awkward with the desk guy.
Tripp explains how he met Max that random day that people kept running into each other on that street corner, the time -- remember with me -- that William told him straight up that Nate was the new future of Archibald. Remember, and then Max walked up and said that weird thing about how "these people" -- even though that group somehow included Charlie, the Rhodes Women and William Vanderbilt, none of whom have anything really to do with each other -- deserved to pay. I remember that.
So then Tripp paid him to snip the brake fluid, which is why GG had that picture of Max with the money -- as Serena helpfully explains -- and but then there was a twist: Max never actually did the brake line thing, he just ran off with the money -- that's our Max! -- and so Tripp had to do it himself.
Tripp: "I never wanted anything to happen to Blair..."
Nate: "So but it was cool if I ended up in a wheelchair?"
Tripp: "I didn't think it would get that heavy, I just thought you'd have a bad weekend and get some bruises or whatever. I know this looks bad because I keep trying to kill people with cars, but trust me. This is all William Vanderbilt's fault because he loves you more."
Wm: "That is some bullshit."
Wm., verbatim: "I raised you to stand on your own two feet..."
Tripp, verbatim: "No. You raised me to kneel before yours."
Serena: "Actually, this is about how you left me to the wolves. You are going to pay. And Nate is going to help make sure of that."
Dan text: "yeah so like Blair got arrested..."
Nate: "Go. We Archibalds will take care of our own."
Blair: "So actually this was just me being dumb and drunk at my bachelorette party? Only plus it's international news. Got it. I've been a bit of an idiot, is what you're saying."
Beatrice: "Don't worry about it. I bought every single cell phone off every single bystander. Also, here is a tiara."
Blair: "For such a complex woman, my needs are pretty simple. Hugs!"