Gossip Girl

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If I Ever Feel Better
In a hurry? Read the recaplet for a nutshell description!

Oh, Blair. Inevitably when the episode is All About Serena, Blair proves the most interesting person. Here because she doesn't really have friends, just subjects. There are only two people in the world that are actually people: Chuck, and Serena. And her relationship with Chuck has just once again readjusted itself to avoidance that can't last, and Serena's Handmaidens have just betrayed her thrice -- Little J by blowing her spot with Chuck, V by taking away her Archibald G.I.R.L.S. plan, and Juliet by making her look insane and vanishing her -- so now she has no equals, just enemies and lukewarm disappointments. What's a girl to do?

Give thanks in some other location. "Strolling the Christmas markets with Daddy and Roman, celebrating Beaujolais Nouveau at Le Tambour." Blair attacks Dorota for packing her new double-faced Burberry instead of her new shearling Burberry -- the bitch -- and Dorota's like, "Freeze to death. I not give a fuck." Dearie D calls her out for splitting in the wake of the Chuck and Serena meltdowns, and then babbles about some kind of third world pretend Christmas bullshit for awhile, and then hands Blair a pumpkin pie to drop off at the van der Woodsens' to eat while they wait out the gathering storm of Serena's sluttiness. Not just any pie, if you remember: Harold's pie, the thing that represents Thanksgiving and also having or not having an eating disorder and therefore the careful control of unbelievable chaos that is Blair's daily task.

There is a very cool thing about this episode that has to do with Good Serena and Bad Serena, but actually has to do with Real Serena and Simulated Serena, that makes Juliet even more awesome than she would otherwise be. Essentially, the show's always been about propaganda for everybody, but Serena's propaganda is virgin/whore propaganda, where everybody keeps calling her a whore and she keeps trying to turn into a virgin.

We've seen Serena take hold of the spectacle -- using the tabloids to freak her dad out, going for Gossip Girl's throat a few times, eventually becoming part of the spectacle through her PR and campaign jobs -- and we've seen her destroyed by it a bunch more times than that. Always this relationship with surveillance, with being looked at by men and by women too, always this relationship with technology and the ways we use it to constellate our own personae. But the thing about Juliet, and last week in particular, is that this is the first time the spectacle has been in 3-D. The image walked off the screen and into life. Instead of images of Serena doing things, it was actual Serena doing things: The image became real. Real enough to fool everybody, even, as we'll see, Serena herself.

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Gossip Girl

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