With that, she throws some smoke bombs to the floor and disappears using a cunningly disguised, if unnecessary, ripline to the ceiling of the cathedral. Everybody stares at each other for ten minutes.

Lily: "...I'm here to stop Georgina!"

SUDDENLY

Blair and Louis get married! They tie the knot! It even penetrates Nate's marijuana fog somehow that he is missing out on marrying Blair, as though that hoary relationship has been relevant in the last like four years. Eleanor pops a bunch of pills because it's so stupid, Lily keeps an eye out for Georgina, and everybody else just considers the fact that Blair reliably chooses the worst possible things to do at every juncture.

What the characters clearly do not consider, however, is that in the pursuit of aging up this show to demonstrate the passage of time and turn it into a mid-twenties soap rather than a teen soap is that they've married off a girl who's like two years into college, until recently pregnant, which is not how things work in real life, unless you are from a tornado-ridden trailer park, and even then you don't make this kind of rich pageantry out of your horrible pathetic decisions. One expects this kind of nonsense from One Tree Hill, insofar as I understand that television program to operate, but at least they had the decency to give us a five-year jump instead of just expecting us to climb aboard the double-wide. And that show is not good, from all reports.

RECEPTION

Various: "Man, we sure do blame Chuck for uploading that video."

Serena: "Except me! If he did it, which who knows or cares who did it, but if he did it then we should think of it as a grand gesture."
Dan: "What are you on about now?"

Serena climbs onto a hot dog stand that is right there in the church.

Serena: "Daniel Humphrey! This grand gesture is for you!"
Dan: "Please don't do this. I understand that this show is, and has been for some time, pretty much just about humiliating you and turning Blair into a mentally damaged shrew, but this is too much even for me. Your greatest enemy."
Serena: "To quote Blair Waldorf in wildly different circumstances, I LOVE YOU, DAN HUMPHREY! ALWAYS HAVE, ALWAYS WILL!"
Dan: "This is just getting gross."
Serena: "Hush, my prince! I must away! Consider your reply carefully, for you will only have seventy-four more chances to return my feelings!"
Dan: "No, girl. I don't..."
Serena: "-- I must away!"

Galumph!