Gossip Girl
G.G.

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: D | 1 USERS: B+
YOU GRADE IT
Sale Of The Century

OUTSIDE

Dorota: "I have no use!"
Serena: "I had a scary dream! It was just like real life."
Dorota: "Mr. Lonely Boy have him breakfast for breakfast! You good dress clothes!"
Serena: "The fact that I am one who sleeps wearing a nightgown, dressing gown, breastplate, sixty-seven necklaces, Mickey Mouse gloves and a fur-lined parka means that's going to take a while."

GG, verbatim because who knows: "Once upon a time, Princess B was a Virgin Queen, and her king was named Archibald. Who would've thought in just five short years, she could turn that headband into a tiara for real? I myself have come a long way, too. But if you think I've spent all my recent downtime reflecting on who I am and what I've done in those same five years, let me assure you, that couldn't be further from the truth. I was just planning my comeback. So if I were you, I'd watch this space, because the new Gossip Girl is coming."

Elsewhere, preparations are being made. Not too hardcore ones, because this is a pretend wedding for the New York circle, but still. And for the record, I think Blair's hair looked wonderful. Not bouncy or perfectly braided and arranged like most wedding hairs, but her hair is her power and this beachy look plays off the dress in a very capital-R Romantic way, like, think one/any of John Millais's more doomed subjects. I think it's a brave choice and I do honestly love it. Her hair is her power.

DUMBO

Rufus: "My label doesn't believe in me or my protégés anymore, so I have to do all the marketing myself. Licking envelopes in Brooklyn, just like this part of my life were the same as any other part of my life. I also have no use."
Dan: "When I remember to be ass-crazy in love with Blair, I do that for a sec."
Rufus: "Here are some cufflinks, for luck."
Dan: "But you see, I am not getting married."

Rufus: "Hey, why are you a groomsman in this wedding even though the groom himself has caught you having an affair with his bride more times than anybody else, save one?"
Dan: "Because I am a toxic person that wrote his wedding vows, so now we are friends."
Rufus: "Silently listening to you exposit about your love life is my only purpose in this world. Proceed."
Dan: "I am just pretending to date Serena."
Rufus: "And you are going to ruin this wedding, of course."
Dan: "No, it's to be presumed that's going to be the work of..."

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Gossip Girl

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