Nameless Translator: "Hey, why did you drag me to this building?"
Chuck: "For Bass Industries Storyline purposes. I need you to tell me something that neither of us know anything about."
Nameless Translator: "Give me lots of money and maybe I will tell you think I don't know anything about."
Chuck: "Done. Hey, did you ever fuck my uncle?"
Nameless Translator: "Everybody has fucked your uncle. Maybe that is the secret."
Chuck: "Trust me, that is not a secret. Oh wait, a text message... Would you like to accompany me to New York City to find my sister?"
Nameless Translator: "Sure, because that makes sense."
Nate: "I have had a grand idea! I will ask my friend where she is."
Gossip Girl: "Serena van der Woodsen is dead."
Nate: "Shocker there."
Lily: "Charles! I am so excited to see you my face moved a little!"
Bart: "Not mine."
Chuck: "This is my friend Amira Abbar. I picked her up in Dubai."
Bart: "Hello, translator I have never met before in my life. Nice to meet you for the very first time."
Amira: "You people are ridic."
Blair: "[Horrible double entendre about fucking.]"
Chuck: "Who's your gorgeous friend?"
Blair: "This is Jean-Pierre. He came free with my makeover at a mall. Who's yours?"
Chuck: "Amira. And same."
Everybody: "Oh ho! Jealousy spotted off the port bow!"
Blair & Chuck: "[More horrible double entendres about fucking.]"
They get rid of Amira and Jean-Pierre -- so yes that was the entire point, to fake some fake-jealousy and keep us all on the edge of our divans and chaises and other fainting furniture -- and then stare at each other like goons.
Dan: "Your mommy minivan is a real shithole."
Georgina: "I hate having kids! But whatever, character makes less and less sense as time goes on. It approaches a hyperbolic limit of total zero, quick as a flash."
Blair & Chuck: "[Fucking.]"
Georgina: "Since he's literally kept every other member of that family as a drug-addicted sex slave at some point, I texted Damian Dalgaard about Serena. Seems she's in Poughkeepsie? I'm guessing she's at the mental hospital there."
Dan: "Is it a nice place?"
Georgina: "Of all the places I've been shuffled off to, yes."