Gossip Girl
Gone Maybe Gone

Episode Report Card
admin: C+ | 2 USERS: A+
Hobo Humpin' Upstate Babe

Gossip Girl: "My literary technique for this episode will be talking about how this is the last season of this show, and but also how I will finally be exposed in the finale. It's all very subtle."

Lily: "That was so fun renewing our vows in the Seychelles! My distressed leather luggage really complements your skin, you gross old monster I married twice for cash."
Bart: "I really enjoyed spending time with Eric off the African coast."
Lily: "I was drunk mostly, but that sounds random enough to be true. Hey, look at all this mail covering every inch of the entirety of PRADA! I sure do get a lot of giant packages delivered."
Blair & Chuck: [(Fucking.)]
Bart: "If only you had an assistant to clean up all these packages!"
Lily: "It's weird because I thought Serena was going to take care of that. It's like the only job she's qualified for, locating the mail on our kitchen table and like, noticing it."
Bart: "Maybe not, given all these boxes of her crap Blair sent over. It looks like she hasn't unpacked at all!"
Lily: "Come to think of it, I haven't heard from her in four months. I wonder if she is alive."
Bart: "Really?"
Lily: "Not hugely, but kind of."


Sage: "I'm your new intern! I was sent here by a Journalism professor at Columbia, that college you have never attended."
Nate: "He was my favorite professor. Or would have been. I'm sure of it."
Sage: "He would have been very proud of you, if you'd ever met him. Look at all you've accomplished!"
Nate: "Yes. Running a newspaper or website or magazine or leaflet or app is not all fun and games. Especially now that I have no investors and my partner -- who had like four identities, including Chuck's Fake Mom, a Traveling Sex Carnie, Bart Bass's BFF, and Nate's Latest Cougar #265 -- has vanished from the show."
Sage: "I'm an actual journalist who actually went to j-school. You know what that means?"
Nate: "Your prospects are so shitty you ended up here after a long downward spiral?"
Blair & Chuck: [(Fucking.)]
Sage: "That, but also that I cannot be trusted. I'm a mole."
Nate: "You certainly look like one. Hey, you know what I've never tried? Sex with somebody age-appropriate."
Sage: "I'm not sure you could call me that, but at least you're passing your abuse on to a new generation of victims."

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Gossip Girl




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