Gossip Girl
Gone Maybe Gone

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: C+ | 2 USERS: A+
YOU GRADE IT
Hobo Humpin' Upstate Babe

Blair & Chuck: [(Fucking.)]

Lily: "Nate, do you remember my daughter Serena?"
Nate: "No. Wait, yes. How is she?"
Lily: "Missing. For like a long time. I just noticed!"
Nate: "I wouldn't worry about it. Her inability to Be Places is second only to the fact that she is a known coke whore. She probably OD'd on the train to Beacon."
Lily: "Wait, are you saying people are incapable of growth or change?"
Blair & Chuck: [(Fucking.)]

VERSAILLES?

I don't know. It's fun to pretend it's Versailles, anyway, given Blair's travesty of a life, and there's like a castle and a horse. Good enough for me.

Eleanor: "You're still not good enough, no matter what you do!"
Blair: "Thanks, Mom! I will do more fashion now."
Jean-Pierre: "I am your PR Director and also gay BFF, and I am at your beck and call. My name is Jean-Pierre, if you can believe it. Now! Let us do some fashion!"

Nate: "Blair! Serena is missing!"
Blair: "Someone we know is missing, Jean-Pierre! More importantly, do you like my chapeau?"
Jean-Pierre: "It would look better on a True Friend. I am booking you a flight to find her."
Blair: "Without a pretty gay dude bossing me around and making my decisions for me, I would have no identity whatsoever."

INSIDE II: THE INSIDENING

Georgina: "Did you really fuck Serena on the bar at the Campbell apartment? Sounds remarkably like the night we had a threesome on a sex tape and then killed a man."
Dan: "Now that you mention it, she did manage to tape us doing it."
Georgina: "So that'll probably come up at some point. Oh, your phone is ringing because it's the same time in every time zone on this show."

Georgina: "Hello?"
Blair: "Your voice sounds particularly masculine today, Dan. Anyway, Serena has been missing for months and we're all simultaneously noticing. I'm afraid the Witches got to her again, with their magickal invocations and ether-soaked Carnivale masques."
Georgina, hanging up: "Dan, change of plans. You wanna see a dead body?"

HO TRAIN FLASHBACK

Serena: (ODing.)
Random Chick: "Oh my God, that's disgusting!"
Blair & Chuck: [(Fucking.)]
Random Chick: "Seriously, it's discouraging seeing what such a lovely woman will do to herself..."

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Gossip Girl

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