Man, I love it when the little demon girls show up. I love that it's always the same ones, too. Lil S is like, "How could you do it? How could you cheat on Serena again?" Lil B spits, "Brooklyn pig!" and Lil S, dwarfed by her scarf, is all, "How could you let him do it, V?" Vanessa, being self-obsessed to a degree that would be surprising if she weren't Humphrey-adjacent, is thrown: "You know who I am?" Lil P becomes amazing just like her older New Crazy counterpart: "Please. Dating Nate Archibald after striking out with Dan Humphrey? Talk about failing upwards." Lil B screams suddenly, just like Queen B would: "WHO ARE YOU CHEATING WITH?" She sounds like a Dalek, it's awesome. He swears he's not cheating, then his hands flutter around all gay and he bounces because the little demon girls scare him so bad, because they are so scary. Lil S shoots him one more nasty look, and Vanessa just stares at the little demon girls, charmed by their lack of boundaries as only Vanessa could be, and over in the corner Nelly Yuki is grinning insanely like Gollum and hanging onto Dan's phone like it's Edward Cullen's choad.
Jack's waiting for Chuck when he comes home, and does this whole Better Man routine about how he feels bad about acting the fool, and Chuck professes his love and admiration for Jack, who's all, "Before we start spooning, I want to take you out tonight to properly celebrate," which of course means coke and whores. Chuck protests that he's having dinner with B, and Chuck says that their "friendship" is the sort he's found usually results in gonorrhea. "Suprax?" Chuck grins, and Jack nods conspiratorially: "Rocephin." He goes on to give Chuck the Who Are You Really speech that brings Chuck and Charles and Charlie Trout all into the room like he's Toni Collette, and brings in a bunch of prostitutes. Chuck is charmed like it's Christmas and his birthday rolled into one, and they are... very young looking, these hos. Needless to say, he's out of there faster than you can say Inappropriate Pervuncular Relationship, and GG is barely even awake to fake her curiosity: "What's it gonna be, Chuck? Business and Blair, or cocktails and coquettes?"
S walks in to bug V at the Bedford Gallery café, and Vanessa is immediately like, "Dan is currently located at the loft, because my babysitting shift ended twenty minutes ago."